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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Eating Disorder Recovery Board Index

For friends saying to us " Eat girl! What's your problem it's so easy" They are right. It is easy to eat, it's the emotions that happen to us after we eat that we have a problem controling. When I look back now I see that my ED was all about having some control in my life. School was miserable I was always not allowed to do anything unless it was church related. I was not allowed to go to dances, football games, movies. I was tired of being told what I could and could not do. I started to focus on myself and that's when I started dieting and exercising like crazy. When I jogged I felt free. It was just me and my walkman and boy did I run. I ran till I purged all of my anger and frustrations out. As time went on and I lost the weight I was proud to look in the mirror and see what I had accomplished. It felt good to see a result for all my hard work.
Then when I started working full time and finding friends I did not have enough time or energy to run and lift weights so I just ate less and less. I started going out to clubs and drinking and we all know how much beer can pack on the ole belly. About 4 months later is when the purging came into my life. One day I just had enough and I stopped cold turkey. [SIZE=3]"IT IS"[/SIZE] possbile to stop but something has to click inside of you to make you wake up and see the [SIZE=3]"REAL"[/SIZE] you in the mirror.

I am proof of it. You have to make a choice. Do not give yourself options you will find some way to talk your way around them. Make a decision and go forth with the same determination that you put into not eating and puring.

Now that I gained weight I get more attention from guys then I did when I was a size 2. I am 5'7 150 pounds. Not fat at all I am a size 4. I just learned how to resculpt my body through the use of weights. I am finally getting that Jenny butt! I always had a flat no shape butwith sadlle bags no matter how much I starved myself. Now my saddle bags are almost gone :bouncing: and I have a perky butt!

For not wanting to hurt my parents by them finding out I resulted into buying all the food for the family. I actually added up all the food I binged and purged after see my mother sitting at the table worrying about the bills. I was wasting alot of my parents hard earned money. It was not their responsibility to feed my habit so I jsut came home one day with tons of food and continued till I moved out.

I hope something clicks for all of you that are having a hard time with your ED. I am so much happier now. I feel better, my health is SO much better, my skin, hair , and nails are better and I just came back from the dentist
and soon my teeth will be better too!


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