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nyway, I don't like the lying at all, and last week I was starting to get very aggravated with her talking about food all the time, body size, health problems, etc. But I am remembering that this is a disorder, something she has lost control over and I need to help her. Her response to all this yesterday bothers me because she sounded genuine, and she is not one to lie EVER. But then I see that she has been lying. I'm just confused. Thank you so much for your stories and all your help. You are wonderful girls!

happyhelper[/QUOTE]

ok i am very confused. anorexia is being 85% or under the expected weight of a person. it can be due to a medical condition...her circulation perhaps. this does not mean its a psychological disorder. anorexia nervosa is the psychological disorder where you have a fear of gaining weight (which she seems to not have) and have a distorted body image (though she admits she knows she has become too thin). there are a list of requirements to be classified under the heading of anorexia nervosa, (things like not having her period for 3 months), so unless she meets the requirements,she does not have it. (you can probably find the list of requirements by doing a search for the DSM-IV-R (it may be easier with DSM-IV) the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual-IV. i have it here but i am sure its on the net.
that being said, even someone who 'never lies' can lie to protect themselves or try to convince themselves of something, and it is a slippery slope from derivitives of anorexia nervosa to the full blown disorder. so if she is vulnerable to it, it may develop (presuming she does not have it now).

her reaction to you does not seem problematic. either a-she's lying by being calm. or b-she thanked you for her concern and admitted she was too thin-maybe she really just does appreciate your concern. i would almost expect someone to get defensive if their 'secret' was figured out.

i lost a friend once because she was food/body/weight obsessed (5'9 110lbs). it was annoying. i confronted her about her eating and she denied it. it didn't ruin our friendship, i was honestly annoyed non-stop talk about food/body.i thought she had anorexia nervosa. i never found out for sure, (i now think it was not the full blown thing but a derivitive of it). that was 9 years ago and i still think about her.


anyway, keep your concern, she knows you are there for her, and thats all you can do until she's ready.





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