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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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Re: I'm Lost
Mar 7, 2005
Hi Steve

I can only imagine what it must be like to be on the other side of anorexia, watching someone you love go through it. The fact that she is in recovery is a great sign as it means she won't be doing further damage to her body, but as you're finding she probably has semi-permanent or permanent damage to her body. I'm presuming that her anorexia must've been quite severe for her to have a weak heart? Can you tell us a bit more about her, ie is she still engaging in anoretic behaviour, or is she eating well? Does she see a therapist/ED specialist/doctor regularly? Anorexia can do a lot of damage to your body but a lot of it is repairable as long as you begin to treat your body with respect. If she's eating well and looking after herself now then it may be that her heart will get stronger.

I think in this situation the most important thing is that you're there for her. It seems like you love her very, very much - in fact you remind me of me and my boyfriend :) I'm also in recovery for anorexia and my boyfriend is the only reason I am still here. It's amazing what love and support can do for anoretics...I expect that you mean an awful lot to your girlfriend. But there is only so much you can do for her yourself, you can't treat her professionally or be a doctor to her, and if things are as serious as they sound then professional intervention is the best thing I can suggest.

I am so, so sorry that you are having to go through this. I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling at the thought of losing her. You have to make her see that if she eats well, takes care of herself and keeps regular appointments with doctors or an eating disorder specialist, she can get better. She may never have ful health but she can get better.

I don't know what else to say except that it's important she stays in recovery. At this stage, her body may not cope with a relapse. Ensure that she eats properly, talk to her about how she's feeling and make sure there is professional intervention where it's needed. There are eating disorder units where she may be able to go and where she will be looked after 24/7. And PLEASE don't feel worthless - it sounds as though you have a really special relationship with your girlfriend and your love and support is probably keeping her going.

Please ask more questions if you need to, we're here to help you :wave:
J*L xxx

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