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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Eating Disorder Recovery Board Index

Katherine, do you have "morning sickness"? That is, does pregnancy make you feel nauseous? If so, it is going to be extra hard to deal with your eating disorder at this time.

Do you think you may need to be hospitalized for the sake of both you and your children? If so, is that available to you? I knew a teenage mom who was hospitalized for similar reasons so that she could be fed intraveneously.

I was malnourished during my first 2 pregnancies because of the nausea. It turns out that the nausea is at least partially relieved if you take pregnancy vitamins. After taking them for a few weeks, I would not feel so sick all the time. Vitamins can also nourish the brain, which can help you deal with the stress without tuning out. And they're good for the babies.

Do you have anyone to help you care for the children? The stress of not having that kind of help in your situation could also be exacerbating the bulimia.

I have a co-worker in the office next to mine who's wife is pregnant. She too had mental disturbances with the birth of her first child. He's been having an affair with another co-worker since she got pregnant again. It seems, as her due date approaches, the affair is diminishing. I know he was an adoring father and that he was a devoted husband as well.
Maybe you can forgive your husband (if he wants to leave the other lovers)?
It's a pretty crazy situation with you & the babies right now; it's not surprising that he is escaping into other realities with fewer responsibilities, which is not unlike what you are doing with the bulimia. No guilt intended. (I am presently taking medication that helps me to not do harmful things that I have longed to stop all my life.) I just wanted you to examine whether you can feel compassion and forgiveness for the father of your children. It must be really hard not to project the anger you feel towards your grandfather and uncle onto your husband. I've had sexual abuse experiences too, though not with family; and also unfaithful partners--so I'm not just saying things without having a clue as to how really, really hard it is to get to that place of forgiveness. You may never get back together, but you can leave your bitterness behind. (Do you even feel the bitterness? Maybe not at this time.)

Just a concerned mother posting. My sister was bulimic from age 10, through her only pregnancy and is still sometimes.

Katherine, you are an amazing woman.
I just prayed for you. *hug*

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