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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board


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Re: Food a day
Apr 13, 2005
Hey lovelydaze

I know your battle. I understand you, it's like every waking hour is spent arguing with yourself over ever bite, ever thought of food, every potential calorie, every part of your body...it drives me mad sometimes and I wish I could just get away from it all. But somedays I still want it and don't ever want to be without it for fear of gaining weight...it's an ongoing struggle for us all.

The thing to remember with recovery is that you can't suddenly force your body to accept food overnight. Generally the longer you've suffered and the more restrictive you've been, the harder it is to retrain your body to handle food. That's why I suggested a dietician as they should be able to help you with manageable meal plans. As I said, I'm three years into this recovery lark and because I've relapsed a couple of times my stomach still can't really handle food. I feel sick and bloated after pretty much everything I eat, and I don't get 'conventionally' hungry ( you know, stomach rumbles and the like) I tend to either feel full or like I'm going to pass out any second. There doesn't seem to be any middle ground.

I'm glad you've been eating better recently. The fact that you're maintaining is fantastic progress and doing that for a while may help you come to terms with your weight as it is now before you have to consider gaining. Unfortunately for most of us, gaining is something that has to be done. You just have to come to terms with that in your own time, I guess.

Lovelydaze, I won't say that recovery is easy by any means, but it's a damn sight better than being miserable every ******* day because you hate yourself. Recovery is about learning to love yourself again and about looking after yourself. Gaining weight may be something you have to do if your current weight is too low, but don't see it as punishment or a bad thing, allow yourself to gain weight and be healthy, because you deserve that much.

Juicy xxx





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