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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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This is not easy.
Apr 16, 2005
man guys. i did it again. a darn slip. how many times am i going to be doing this?? i have no idea what my trigger was. well, i was doing good all day, things were good, blaa blaa, and my mom decided to make chocolate chip cookies for our cookie jar. now that is not good. she told me about a girl who i know with an ED also and heard that her mom found cookie dough under her bed. now, for sum reason i just had a "click" in my head and was anxious for mom to leave. well, she went to the hotel for a drink and rite when she left BAM i hit the cereal, cookies, ect. i purged afterwards and this whole thinger only took 20 minutes. but why would i do it? im doing so good in my recovery! i cant give up tho...i mean, i will have moments. and they will be hard to control. o man guys!! and yesterday and the day be4 i had little episodes of purging. not so much over eating, but little purges. i always rechew and swallow and rechew and swallow my food until its fully digested and tastes disgusting!! i have to stop doing this. its gross i know, but why do u think i keep regaging my food and actually enjoy it? Yuck! im so scared for my teeth and my health. so scared. i put on 8 lbs tho since march 1st. im quite happy about that. and i am introducing lots more foods now...but i just have to control these urges to binge...but i have my restricitng and over excerisiing under control. just darn bulimia i have to work at!

how are u guys doing??

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