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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board


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Hey Troubled,

I've got one week to completly starve myself :(! Then im going to have to go to the doctor!!!!!! URGH ARGH URGH!!!!!! Then im going on 'band tour' to Italy with all my friends. There (like you on camp) im going to try and keep myself so occupied that I wont have to eat, tho its going to be sooo hot! But my mum is now threatening that she will tell my teacher that im not eating so that she will make sure I eat when im away! Thats NOT good! Im going to go to the doctor just to make sure she doesnt do that!

I was camping with my friends at a festival on saturday, and one of my friends is struggling abit with food, I dont really know much about it because I havent really talked to her much about it! Im alot smaller then most of my friends....being short at 5ft3 :(! I realise this and im not going to lie to myself and say, im fatter then alot of my friends! because im not really tha much bigger then them. My friends are NOT fat tho! There really skinny, but more importantly they're happy with their bodies. We were putting up the tent, and where we are in England at the moment is 32'C Which is v.v.hot for England, and we were all sweating and stuff.....anyways two of my friends wore just their bikinis. I really wanted too as well, but I kept my top on! Then later all my friends were sunbathing in their bikini's except for me and the girl hoo has a promblem too. It made it easier for me not too wear the bikini since she wasnt....but she sed 'u have a lovly body...wear your bikini.' But i dont know if she was lieing, its SO hard to know.

If your friends are telling you that you really are getting skinny......do you think that mayb they are right? or do you think they are lying. See I think I look no different then I did back in feb! I dont know how im ever going to look skinner. But mayb u do? U just cant see it! Maybe u shud go see a doctor aswell just to see if your friends are really right! WHatcha think?

Wow that calculator sounds really fab! Where do you get them from? I am forever looking at back of packets to see how many calories are in what, but when mum makes tea some things I aint gotta clue have how many calories it contains.

When I was camping, aswell, there were soooo many temptations, but I only ate some bread before I went and some snacky things like a few sweets and crisps and an ice lollie, But i didnt exercise, URGH!

Ive gotta another exam today at 1.00pm which is about 6.30am in america, so im going to go and exercise till then, because I got up early and mum forced a bowl of special K down my throat....WITH MILK, which is like 171 cals! :( :o
Ive got 3 more exams to go now, french, physics and r.e! Then ive got like 10 weeks off YEH :) But its gunna b hard to starve, because my mum is a teacher so she is going to b at home all the time on hol as well, and will make me eat. But mayb if im going to the docotor she will lay off a little.

I know exactly what u mean, about not feeling skinny enough, im smaller then my friends, shorter and a lil skinner then some, but i just dont feel skinny enough, and I dont want to eat!

It sounds like you have been having some trouble over the past years with other issues? Do you wanna talk about them? mayb they cood have triggered this disorder. Dont worry if ya dont tho, i understand. Control is a big thing for me. You cant control what people think, or how tall you are, or what your born into, or where your born, or which group of people are in your year at school. It happens and if something goes wrong then you cant really change it! But weight, well, you can change weight, so much easier then any other thing! thats y im obessed with it. No one knows about it, its mine, and no one can take it away except for me. it makes me feel safe, without it i dont know who i would b. DO you feel the same? .... i think you do, as you talked about it in your previous post, exactly the same way as I wood have put it.

Yeh I honestly, do want to help you. Helping you makes me feel better aswell! I dunno, wierd, but I can relate to what your saying and its good to have someone that I can tell my problems to. I really hope your okey, and that you write back b4 u go away!

Love ya

X Hannie X





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