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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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[SIZE=1][CENTER]hello love[/CENTER]

I have been diagnosed with anorexia for two years. I too, did not like therapists.

The therapists I had expierenced:
1) did not have any background with ED's
2) would not have been reccomended if we had asked others for suggestions
3) were only in it for the money

I hated going to talk to my therapist bc all she would do is recap what I said, no tips, no feedback, no help. I would spend an hour spilling my emotions and guts only to have them repeated back to me without any suggestions, questions, ideas on how to work through my feelings, NOTHING. a waste of $120 twice a week. I quit thearpy. My eating habits were very poor, and got worse. Even though my thearpist did nothing to help me strategize or ANYTHING, I still had a quiet place to talk {even if i didnt get much in return} about my feelings instead of keeping them bottled inside of me.

So without anyone to talk to, i took my pain out on my body, starved for weeks. last summer it got bad. im 5'5 and i got down to 70 pounds. I was at camp and luckly got very close to a counselor who made me gain 5 pounds before my parents saw me.

when I came home i was immediatly put in the hospital and was told i had to go into thearpy. i went ballestic. A week later my parents dragged me to meet with this woman to talk about a therapist that would fit my lifestyle. We found Allison. She is in her 30's short, skinny, she HAD anorexia, she majors in EDS, and worked at treatment centers and everyone loves her. shes so great. shes like talking to your bestfriend, no kidding. I can tell her anything and if she thinks its insane shell say something like "OH MY GOD! YOUR FRIEND IS SUCH A *****I CANT BELEIVE SHE SAID THAT! AH OKAY HERES WHAT WERE GOING TO DO{etc etc}" and then wed work on ways to deal with my pain, anger, anxiety, and to cope with food. I was in an abusive relationship with my boyfriend... and until I met allison couldnt end it bc I depended on him and yeah im sure you know all about abusive boyfriends so i wont go into detail.

to sum it up shes helped me, greatly. i have been with her for almost a year and my self respect and self worth has risen a great deal. Heres a list of a couple things I overcame, relized. You TOO can accomplish similar things with the right therapist.

1. the root of my eating disorder
2. realizing that im a good person and deserve a boyfriend who loves and respects me
3. how to let go of things.
4. how to handle feeling like im worthless, always mess up, never good enough, etc
4. My grades went from C's to A's
5. I gained the confidence to end it with my bestfriends bc they too, werent respecting me
6. I value my time now. I have learned to take the good with the bad. and APPRECIATE many things. I can take the bad things and make good out of them. learn something for every thing
7. how to deal with my dads affair and my parents divorce.

okay you get the idea.

this summer im going to camp again, away from friends, family, Allison, but we have planned everything incase i start feeling the way i use to. i can call her if need her. <-- that is a true thearpist. not someone whose in it for the money, but someone you build a relationship with, someone who actually cares and wants you to be happy.

im not here to talk about myself, & im afraid i did quite a bit of talkling but im hoping to show you [B]there is hope[/B]! I want you to find a therapist you LIKE, you enjoy talking to and feel comfortable with. A therapist you think of as a [U]person[/U] and a friend, not a shrink.

Go meet with someone who can help you find someone who is right for WHO YOU ARE. there are many kinds of thearpists for many kinds of people. you just havent found the right one yet. and she/ he is out there. its worth a shot? meet with someone that can give you a list of good names and their background and what they specalize in. Pick who sounds the best to you. meet with them. if they dont fit your needs, try again. its worth trying right?

its better to fail then not try at all bc while your sitting on the computer thinking "god i just dont know, the past the past the past" well this isnt the past. its now. not then. you are older you know what kind of people you like and what your comfortable with. & you need to feel good about WHO you are, who you want to be, and learn from the past. I bet you didnt have a say in who you saw when you were in thearpy? I didnt, until I stood up for myself. It sounds like your out of the house, so you make the rules. you dont like the therapist, get rid of them.

you could find someone that soon you will think "how did i go without this person" but what if you decide not to look? well, you wont find someone to listen, care and help.. and thats not good.[B] you deserve better than what your dealing with. keep me posted.[/B][/FONT][/SIZE]

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