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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board


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I'm completely obssessed with counting cals. I'm recovering from an ED and I'm now at a healthy weight and trying to maintain it, but I still count cals everyday. I allow myself 1700-1800 cals a day. Saturday is an exception because we go out that night for dinner and I eat whatever I want and don't worry about it....I LOVE saturday night! I just wish I could be that way all the time. I just have this fear of getting fat (which is still my evil ED). I feel if I don't count cals I will lose control of how much I'm eating and gain alot of weight, even though I know deep down that's not true because it takes alot to even gain 1 pound. I hate being like this!! Food controls my life and it's driving me crazy! I was getting better and not worrying so much about what I eat but I feel like my ED is rearing it's ugly head again and I don't know how to stop it....I'm scared. When I do tell myself I'm going to stop counting cals it only lasts a day or two and I'm back at it again without even realizing it. I've just memorized the cals in so many things and it's just second nature to me to calculate them and keep track. I've done it for so long now that it's just a habit. This is a normal day for me....300 cals for breakfast...100 cal mid-morning snack....400 cal lunch....200 cal afternoon snack....500 cal supper...200 cal evening snack. It usually totals out at around 1700 cals a day. Also I'm still afraid of fat. Everything I eat is low-fat or fat free. I know most days I don't meet my quota for even the "minimum" fat intake. Please I just need some tips, advice, encouragement...whatever to help me. If you used to be like this but got over it, share your story and tell me how you did it. I'm desperate here. To me this is like a drug addiction or something, it's something I want to stop but just can't. I'm SO frustrated with myself!!!
I'm completely obssessed with counting cals. I'm recovering from an ED and I'm now at a healthy weight and trying to maintain it, but I still count cals everyday. I allow myself 1700-1800 cals a day. Saturday is an exception because we go out that night for dinner and I eat whatever I want and don't worry about it....I LOVE saturday night! I just wish I could be that way all the time. I just have this fear of getting fat (which is still my evil ED). I feel if I don't count cals I will lose control of how much I'm eating and gain alot of weight, even though I know deep down that's not true because it takes alot to even gain 1 pound. I hate being like this!! Food controls my life and it's driving me crazy! I was getting better and not worrying so much about what I eat but I feel like my ED is rearing it's ugly head again and I don't know how to stop it....I'm scared. When I do tell myself I'm going to stop counting cals it only lasts a day or two and I'm back at it again without even realizing it. I've just memorized the cals in so many things and it's just second nature to me to calculate them and keep track. I've done it for so long now that it's just a habit. This is a normal day for me....300 cals for breakfast...100 cal mid-morning snack....400 cal lunch....200 cal afternoon snack....500 cal supper...200 cal evening snack. It usually totals out at around 1700 cals a day. Also I'm still afraid of fat. Everything I eat is low-fat or fat free. I know most days I don't meet my quota for even the "minimum" fat intake. Please I just need some tips, advice, encouragement...whatever to help me. If you used to be like this but got over it, share your story and tell me how you did it. I'm desperate here. To me this is like a drug addiction or something, it's something I want to stop but just can't. I'm SO frustrated with myself!!!





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