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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Eating Disorder Recovery Board Index

o no no no!! well i kept the normal first supper helping down. i waited like 2 hours and had another bowl of TONS of leftover rice and sum stir fry...i purged it just now :( why sam why?? i mean, life is going by so good rite now! 2 days ago, my bf who i havent seen since we started going out came down and man...that nite we had fun. we walked around town and ended up making out for like...3 hours. lol. but yet i still find myself purging. why cant i be happy? likei am happy. i like my body rite now. but...i still have that itty bit of a fear. i wish it was like a fly and i could wap it with a fly swatter and be gone with. tnoite i am gonna watch my fave movie "thirteen". im gonna make sum popcorn and pretzels and pray to god i dont purge it. like, my relfexes are so bad i dont even have to stick my fingers down there. i just have to lean, suck in and there ya go. it sucks cuz when i do wanna keep food down, it just gags bakc up and i regurgita for hours and ugh!

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