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Re: Fight Club!
Aug 23, 2005
Good morning everyone,
I tried to go on the boards last night, but my hands were really screwed up and I couldn't type. I needed you guys so badly too. First let me catch you up to speed(serious pun for me now huh?). Actaully first let me welcome Marysib to the Fight club. I kind of feel like the secretary of our organization. It is tuly awesome to see how much strength this post has. If you go to the board where it lists all of the posts and relpies and viewers, we kick tushy. (can't say a** here). We have the most and the most stars out of all of them, so I know how powerful and helpful this has become. This is not an exclusive club either, if we had 100 members, it would still be awesome, although a little harder to keep track of).
So I got blood work yesterday and will have answers this morning. I went to see a Psychopharmacologist yesterday and even he thinks this is a Thyroid imbalance, but still thinks I have the predisposition for Bipolar. He gave me Seroquel and Depakote to handke the acute mania, and I took the Seroquel last night with Xanax and I slept. I wanted to stop the Xanax but he said not to because I could have a seizure from a cold turkey withdrawal. I slep all night (wahoo!!!!!) and woke up really groggy, from the meds. [B]This is where I really need your advice guys[/B]. He said if he had been treating me all along, he would admit me to this hospital in the city where I live that specifically treats EDs and Addiction, but I told him I was in recovery and that I am doing extremely well. He said I only think I am because I am so manic, and here is the interesting part. The day I decided to start settng rules re the Bulimia (ie: no bingeing until exercise, no bingeing until I got 2 hours in at the pool, etc) was the day I started the Leanfire supplement. Yes. I am telling everybody what it is and if the Moderator wants to slash it , so be it). This is nasty stuff all the way around, and I know the chance of any of us wanting to use an energy/diet pill, is high so I feel it is my responsibility to warn everyone. Especially because there is no warning on this bottle, just for caffeiene sensitivity. Anytime if I wanted to try a new energy pill and I saw a warning on the bottle about persons on meds, or having Psychiatric illness, I would not take it. If the Leanfire had a warning, I wouldn't have taken it. Somewhere down the road I want to sue the company, not for the money just to make them put a warning on the bottle. I wonder how many other people may have experienced this or will. I want my friends in cyberspace and others like us to be safe. I mean I have all of these new problems now. What I am afraid of, is that the control I thought I had/have over my ed was from a chemically induced mania, and once it gets under control, then what? I am a warrior and I will not back down form this fight no matter what. Remind me of this should I start to feel differently once all of this is controlled.
Lauren, Maggie, Natasha, thanks for your words especially about the meds. Once again I see how much we are alike and it helps me so much, and Snitter, oh Snitter you make me laugh and it snds a massive endorphin rush through my body(from this mania) and it makes my back pain go away. I guess I am a snitter junkie now. Thanks for keeping me, I feel safe within the cyberarms of the Fight Club. I realize my posts are long, but bear with me, it's from the mania. At home I am so speedy and can't shut up, and it's driving my husband crazy. Although one aspect of the mania he doesn't seem to mind (and neither do I) i hypersexuality, can't get enough. I am scared of how disappointed he will be when the acute symptoms are controlled. It really is going to be the toughest fight yet.
I will post later when I get my labs back and Natasha(I think) thanks for the advice about seeing an endo even if my labs are normal, I would have never thought of it.
Love you guys, and be [B]eat well, feel well, be well..[/B] Hey we should all get a tshirt with that printed on it. What do you think???Then we could all wear them when we are on the board. (Or am just thinking crazy from the mania? I am still getting the tshirt anyway.)
Re: Fight Club!
Aug 24, 2005
[QUOTE=NatashaW]
BKFREE... Thryroid problems could definitely be causing your symptoms. I am not saying you aren't bi polar, but you should definitely get to an endo who is an expert on thyroid and metabolism....because general practicioners are ususally not qualified to dignosed a thryoid problems for many people whose labs come back within the normal range still have problems. Also check out your cortisol level!! I had high cortisol when I was having hypomania.
QUOTE]

Natasha, I took your advice. My blood test came back normal, But I have an appointment with an endo today at 9am to get a full evaluation. I have been reading about what mania feels like and I am starting to think it may not be my Thyroid, but I need to be absolutley sure.
The mania is getting worse by the day. It is starting to affect my eating. I am drinking more coffee(it seems to induce endorphin rushes during the mania, which help my back pain, and interestingly, the back pain is more severe duting the mania.) And yesterday I didn't want to eat at all, skipped breakfast, had a protein bar for lunch, but was able to eat a good dinner when my husband got home from work.I think by next week I will be back in the hospital, but a better one, one that specializes in EDs and addiction. It is a 28 day program. The Psychopharmacologist I saw Monday siad he thinks I should go there. It would be hard to not have you guys for a month, but I am getting sicker by the day, and I need help.
I am losing my sense of reality. I told you guys I was drinking 10 bottles of water a day and eating 2500 cals a day and not gaining weight, but I realized according to my food logs, that the water is more like 4-5 16oz bottles, and I really don't know how many calories I am eating because I don't write down cals, just what I eat. I didn't mean to lie, I am sorry, I am just so manic, that I seem to be exaggerrating everything, and all my emotions and physical symptoms may be exagerrated too. I am so scared because I am afraid this mania is starting to turn more schizo affective. I have phone therapy today and another appt with The psychiatrist tomorrow. I can't drive and I can barley handle being in public because I totally flip out.
Oh and guess what??, I emailed the maker if the diet pill I was using and told them how it has made me sick and I think that they should put a warning label on the bottle, and that I was thinking of hiring a lawyer and last night the lawyer representing them called me and talked to me for over an hour on the phone. I really need a lawyer now don't I?
Thanks for being there for me because I am really starting to drift away from the earth like a helium balloon let loose and The Fight Club helps me to stay grounded.
Love,
BKFREE





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