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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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Re: Fight Club!
Oct 11, 2005
I think it's funny (not ha ha funny, but hmmmm funny) how you are so adamant on thinking you are so different than the rest of the group, and the rest of the bulmics and anorexics in the world.
This board is an eating disorder board and you my amazing friend have an eating disorder, and in case you haven't noticed, not every body here talks about the desire to be thin to seek out approval. Yes for many women with Eds, it seems like it is all about being thin, but that is surface ****. It always goes much deeper than that. It is about control!!!!! And your need to punish yourself is the same thing. I mean you talk about this need to hurt yourself. Why? What is it that you think you have done to this world that is deserving of the pain you inflict on your body? And starving, bingeing and purging, laxative abuse, cutting and even shoving toilet paper and cat treats down your throat for the pure thrill of the pain it brings throwing it back up is all the same stuff my dear.

The thing I used to think before revovery was that there was no one sicker than me. Natsha thought the same thing, we all do. We can't be cured, blah blah blah.

When I first became bulimic, I did some pretty nasty stuff to purge, some things that doctors are amazed I am even alive today. (I won't say what they were as to not give any "want to become better bulimics" tricks of the trade so to speak. As I got older, I developed easier and what I thought were less harmful ways, and I even seemed to function better physically and mentally. You know what that kind of reasoning is called Snitter? I will give you a hint.......Denial is NOT a river in Egypt.

The fact of the matter here is what we are doing is dangerous, whether it is once a month, or once every hour and we all need to find ways to handle our emotions, the emotions that bring us to harm ourselves, in more positive ways. For me what is working right now is unconventional by the ways and means of Modern medical science but it is working, and you know why?????
Becasue I am discovering my true passions. I have become passionate about mylife and my health now, not just enthusiastic. There is a huge difference.
For me my passion is self awareness, spirituality and inner peace and calm. The path I am on to achieve this is called Ayurveda, and it involves Yoga, breathing, a healthy eating plan, meditation etc. i could try to push Ayurveda on all of you guys, but it is what I have discovered is my passion. Now the ed is getting better because It doesn't really have a place on my path. Plus the ED is what is the cause of my back problems. There is nothing wrong with my spine and thousands of dollars and terribly painful procedues and medications that I got addicted to later, it turns out it is all in my stomach lining, esophagus and gall bladder. The inflammation and tears from the bulemia cause trigger points to refer pain to my back. So you see it really is all connected.

Oh and your analogy about the gum thing. I used to bartend on the beach and this terribly annoying woman decided to quit smoking by using the gum, Well she got so addicted to the freakin gum, she would probably have to start smoking again just to get off of it. She is just replacing one addiction with another. Nicotine causes Physical dependence. SI and Bulemia does not. Your physical body would gladly help you stop, but mentally well that is another thing, and for you it is not a habit like smoking because you say you want to hurt yourself. Cigarrete smokers don't smoke becasue they are hoping to get lung cancer. (well I sure hope they don't, and being a cig smoker I can assure you we don't)
Are you stayng with me on this.

Snitter, you are way too cool, and gifted and eloquent and brilliant for 22 to do tis to yourself. So again I ask you......Why do you want to hurt yourself???? My twin was a cutter. i asked her before she committed suicide why she did it. She said it was the only thing that made her feel.
Okay I don't want to give you emotional heartburn, so please digest okay?

I know I am your favorite Cyberpal, so think *** **** **. Oy, the blasphemy.

Love, BK ;) :rolleyes:

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