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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Eating Disorder Recovery Board Index

Re: Fight Club!
Aug 26, 2005
[QUOTE=marysib]hang in there snitter...big hugs and encouragement to you...i almost relapsed tonight,feeling a bit down...i started my usually after dinner snack with my small granola bar, i am always hungry for carbs at night...ugh i hate it...and then i ate a bagel...i stopped though, feeling guilty after the bagel...i drank some water and i won my battle tonight...5 days, my feelings are mixed, i am glad i stopped but that bagel i feel guilty about, well i wont and i wont let it stop my progress, the fight is still on!![/QUOTE]

That is so awesome. Once I feel that I am in binge mode, and it could be water I am bingeing on, it is so hrd for me to stop. It's definitrly not about the food I am eating, but the way I am eating it, the feelings I am trying to deal with. I was able to recognize that for the first time on the 18th. That was the day before I went in the hospital, the day before my period and the day the mania just felt the sickest, most painful and most scary. I was so racy and speedy and hungry, and we have no junk in the house to eat, just healthy, organic, good for the body and soul foods, but I went to the fridge and started shoving fruit down my throat so fast and while standing there. It was good healthy food, but I knew it was a binge, which led to more rapid eating ehich led to the purge. For me Mania during PMS = no control, anxiety, "flu like physical symptoms", Mania during Menstruation = Control, Euphoria, no pain. PMS is going to be a time where I bet my meds will need to be increased. I recognize it will be a severe trigger time for me, but at least I know when it's coming and I can plan for it. Other triggers, things that could happenaway form home, beyond my own body will be much harder I imagine. That is why My therapist and Psychiatrist want me to go to the ED unit, once the acute mania is stabilized.

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