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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board


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tina, I just wanted to say that I agree with everyone here. I too suffer from panic attacks, I know how bad they can be, I really do. I've had to be put on all different kind of meds that calm me down to prevent them. And I went through a psychologist, They really can help you with your panic and with your eating.....Please stop this before it starts. I've had a lot of bad things happen in my past as well. I've been sexually abused and I felt so horrible about myself because of it I started thinkin I was fat and ugly and no one wanted me, and so on. I would eat and purge because i didnt want anyone to know, and that way I could hide it, soon my mom found out and I was caught, I watched a movie on karen carpenter, she was anorexic, and I thought hummm why not just stop eating like her, and thats why I did.....I simply refused to put anything in my mouth....now I am struggling every single day, there is not one day I can get through without food being on my mind constantly. weither its to figure out how to get through the day without eating, o r trying to figure out what I can eat that would have the tiniest amount of fat and calories in it. its a horrible thing to live with and it will comsume every single bit of your time. and as others have said you will affect your daughters life with this. It doesnt even have to be you talking about it, or saying your fat or saying you hate ur body or dont like ur body.....it can just be the way you look at urself in a mirror, or the way you are with food....it doesnt all have to be spoken and she will pick up on it.....I take care of my friends little girl, she is my daughter, even tho she isnt my blood, I'm the one she calls mommy, and I'm the one who takes care of her every day, I tuck her into bed at night, I've taught her everything she knows, and if there is one thing I've done with her, I tell her she is beautiful every single day a ton of times, she just smiles and laughs when I tell her and she is only two. . .I make sure she eats at least three meals, good meals a day and she has a couple snacks throughout the day as well....and no matter how much I hate myself I will never look in the mirror and cringe around her or say anything bad about my body, because I know she will pick up on it, and I want her to grow up happy and healthy and never think about an ED. Please get some help. I know how hard it is, I know how scary it is, but you know, really, what is it that you are scared about in getting help? What is it that makes u not do it? If you find out why ur scared and why you dont want to then you can over come that fear and save ur life before u go down that path....look at the posts from us over the past few weeks or even months, check out the terrible things that are in our hearts, souls and minds on a daily basis, see that we pass out, we have trouble taking care of things we have to do, I am falling apart as im sure many others are because of this, please stop it before u go too far....and u dont need a therapist that has been there, because once u have an ED u are never completely cured, u can relapse at anytime, and no matter if you've been "recovered" for years one thought, or one thing could trigger u and u are right back to square one, you could be talking to a therapist for ED's and if they've been anorexic you could say soemthing and trigger them right back to it, or they could trigger you, You'd be suprised how much that they really can help even tho they havent been there, if they specalize in ED's they know everything that they need to, to be able to help you....The first step is always the hardest and the scariest, but please take it, for your daughters sake....you dont want to get caught up in this and have it kill you, then where will ur daughter and hubby too be, be without you? god bless you and take care, dont give up okay...you've been through a lot, but look at the good/great/wonderful things and people you have to live for and be strong and healthy for....you dont want to get so sick you can't play with ur daughter.....every daughter needs her mother, so please if not for urself or ur man or anyone else, do it for her





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