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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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well, for starters, i think that your period will come back once you regain a healthy weight.
you're not "really messed up", i understand how you feel. sometimes, i get these urges to cut, too. i just do my best to fight them away.
yea, i dont feel underweight either. but everyone else i know keeps telling me that i am, and i just have to take their word for it. true, the scale doesnt lie. so trust it. when it tells you that you are underweight, you are underweight. we both seem to have distorted body images. i didnt think that distorted body images really existed until i thought to myself, "if im so digustingly fat, then WHY am i trying to hide my thinness from other people??". its like,the logical side of my brain KNOWS im underweight, while the other side sees me as a fat pig.
try to start eating lotsa small snacks/meals throughout the day, whenever you get hungry. you need to slowly increase your calories. and, like i said, for a while it'll seem like a darn apple will make you gain half a pound, but over time, everything will stablize and youll be able to eat a healthy amount of calories and simply remain your weight. you're not deathly underweight, but being underweight at any level is dangerous to your health. use your period as a guide- once you see it, it means that your in a healthy physical condition again.
things will get easier as they go on. just hold your head up high and keep moving forward. "what saves a man is to take a step. then another step. it is always the same step, but you have to take it". i believe in you! you are NOT fat, and im sure you are NOT ugly. you're a beautiful, unique person, unlike anyone else. you have your own special reason for living. always remember that.

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