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Now don't be fooled by the title, I am not looking for advice on being anorexic that is just sick. I am an emotional binge eater, and I eat because I am unhappy with how I look and use food to comfort myself when I am upset that I haven't lost weight. I am not obese but slightly overweight. People with binge eating disorder a lot of the time aren't even fat because strict dieting goes along with it. Binge/diet/binge/diet..etc a never ending cycle. Now I understand bulimia because that is basically very much like binge eaters only they puke afterwards and with the feeling of guilt after bingeing I can see why (though I don't do that). However, whenever I am on my dieting part of the binge cycle, my days are such a struggle to get through .They pass by SO much longer when I don't eat a lot. When I am not emotionally eating, I am thinking about food 24/7. I keep thinking "oh no I might binge tonight and screw up my diet and gain weight" I am literally obsessed with food, counting calories everything on my dieting days. So how the heck can anorexic people deal with not eating like ever? Don't your days pass by so slow, doesn't it make you feel like you have nothing to distract yourself from your problems? I guess food is my outlet that I turn to, so it is hard for me to understand just how people can get through many days easily barely eating anything. I am not trying to sound ignorant, believe me I deal with people like that all the time. Who tell me all you have to do to stop emotionally eating is to "stop eating a lot of junk" as if it were that simple. So I am not trying to sound ignorant, but I really am curious to know because I pretty much understand every other e.d but this one. Now I will go on STRICT diets like 400- 500 calories, but eventually I ALWAYS go back to bingeing and me knowing this makes me do it even more. So anyway, any details would be appreciated. I really want to understand more and not be another ignorant idiot.
[QUOTE=shining_star]hello there...i wouldn't have considered my days dull, i full productive days. It was just easier because you become ingrossed in what your doing and food is the furtherest thing from your mind. For me; food is not a friend, it can't talk to you, give you a is just something that you eat cos if you don't you die. I don't really think of it as something i would "lust" after...yuk. What is good about it?? I'm in recovery but really struggling at the moment, ana is hard to deal with she controls the way you think and feel. Food is evil. I think it's horrible that I have remind myself to eat. How do normal people do it without having to think of it??? [COLOR=Indigo]I don't mean to trigger anyone else, and bring issue's up for you. I am feeling really triggered at presend and this post seemed a "venting" but everyone how has ana...didn't ask for it, yes we have issue's to deal with just like everyone else with a ed. i too have a sick, icky feeling after eating and yes want to throw it up, it feels revolting and disgusting.[/QUOTE]

Well for me it is the total opposite. I hate that food makes me gain weight, and I hate that it has power over me but I cannot stop emotionally eating. Believe me I have tried. I don't LIKE emotionally eating, but I cannot control it. The best way to describe it is like a heroin addict who needs "just one more hit"(you always think it will be your 'last time' bingeing)...when the urge to binge comes on there is nothing to distract you from it. All you're thinking about is how much you want to binge, and the more you try and resist the more intense the feeling gets like you are losing control, until you binge on tons of junk in such a short amount of time. The only thing I know is that when I am eating I don't think of ANYTHING but how good the food tastes. I don't think about being depressed, being angry or anything at all. All I think about is how the food tastes and it is like a release for me. During my days I have nothing to look forward to, nothing that makes me happy. So as the day goes on, the more anxious I feel like I need relief from what I am feeling or I will break down...for cutters they cut themselves when they feel anxious and need to release this feeling, for binge eaters we eat, drug addicts do drugs. In all cases we feel like we cannot stop like we are being controlled to do these things. You'd probably assume I am extremely fat but I am not. Sure I am overweight but I am 5'4 140 pounds. Not considered obese. I wish there was a way for me to have no emotional attatchment for food. For me to be normal and simply eat food to survive. But it is just not that easy for me. Thats why it was so hard for me to understand anorexia. When anxiety is building up in me, and I feel like I cannot sit still I eat to relieve it. But people who are anorexic don't do that.

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