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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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I'm new here
Oct 24, 2005
I think I have an eating disorder. I completely obsess about my weight. In june I weighed 200 pounds and joined a gym and only lost 3 pounds. in july I started nutrisystems and I've lost 30 pounds since then. But now I find myself making myself throw up if I've eaten foods that aren't NS foods or if I just feel like I've eaten too much. I also take a lot of laxatives. I take 4 every night and 2 in the morning and sometimes 2 in the afternoon if I know I'm going to be home all day. I am so obsessed about losing all this extra weight that I've been carrying around all these years. 200 pounds is the most i've ever weighed, even when i was pregnant with my 3rd child i only weighed 195. I'm almost 40 and i'm 5'7" I know I'm overweight but feel that I'm getting out of control with losing this weight. It's not coming off fast enough. And when I get to 145-150 then what? How will i keep the weight from coming back? I have lost weight before and I always gain it back plus 10. I've been a yo-yo dieting most of my adult life. I was slender as a child/teen. I weighed 130 when I got married in '85. I just constantly think about losing weight and finding more ways to lose more. I am seeing a counselor, I started 3 weeks ago. We've only just started talking about the purging and laxes. My husband doesn't know about them. I usually only use this website on the topic of Down syndrome, my 14 year old daughter has DS. But I came across this topic and I hope this is the right place to post this. I'm hoping those of you in recovery can offer words of wisdom to get me out of this. Thanks for reading. MONA

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