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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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bj's mum,

good for you! just one meal at a time, keep going and you're going to do great! I'm currently in therapy and one thing my therapist said to me last week (i'm eating A LOT of calories to try to get my weight up) was that the "i feel fat" feeling/"i see fat" feeling is one of the last things to go away as you recover. that kind of gave me hope in a weird way. it was like, "okay, this sucks, i feel fat and i feel like i look fat, but that's NORMAL and eventually it will go away." i guess i took solace in this information, so i was thinking maybe it could help you too.

another thing she said was to stop looking in the mirror. she said that i'm gonna feel fatter and i'm gonna keep seeing "new" fat on my body, and the best way to avoid that feeling is to just NOT LOOK. it actually works, sort of. it's REALLY hard for me not to look and i still do, but on the days where i can just bypass the mirror and go on with my life, i really feel better, you know? it takes a conscious effort, but it does help. like the other day, i could swear my legs were getting fatter by the hour (they felt like cased sausages in my jeans in my head!), but i refused to let myself go in the bathroom, pull down my pants and see that my legs were getting closer together in the middle. and honestly, i think i felt better for the rest of the night than if i had gone and looked, you know? the fat feeling didn't go away, but at least i didn't have to deal with the "truth" (and i know it's distorted) that the mirror told me.

so basically, this absurdly LONG post is to give you a little hope and understanding and some advice. try as hard as you can not to look in the mirror . . . it's tough, but you can do it! and keep it up with those meals, you're doing fantastic!

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