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I hope this post helps you, Traumatized.

The first thing is having the good foundation of not only wanting...REALLY wanting to stop...but also of just being sick and tired of the binge/purge cycle. For me, I got so sick and tired of spending loads of money on binge food; tired of the constant trips to the grocery store; tired of spending every waking hour planning my binges; tired of impatiently waiting for my parents to go to bed everynight so I could start my binge; tired of looking at my "food" drawer in my room where I stashed my food; tired of lying to friends; The thing I was most sick and tired of was worrying that I was going to die in the middle of the night from a heart attack. I was picture my parents finding me in the morning dead-I just couldn't handle it anymore.

So...after MANY failed attempts to stop b/p (I would stop for about a month at a time, then start again, then stop for another month, and then binge like crazy again) I made a vow to myself that I would start to live my life in a manner that would bring me real happiness (and real happiness is NOT FOOD, believe it or is immediate gratification, and purging immediate gratification and relief..but not REAL pleasure or happiness) and would make god proud of me. I said to myself "God did not create my body and soul so that I could destroy it". And BTW, I am not a very religious person..but I find that faith in God (or the universe) helps me. We were all created for a reason, a purpose in life...and by deliberately destroying our bodies, we destroy our chances of fulfilling whatever our purpose is in life.

So..some tips on how to start the road to recovery:

1. If you aren't really ready to stop b/p....then you need to recognize that fact. You can't start you real recovery if you heart is not in it.

2. You have to be really sick and tired of it. I mean you have to really deep down start to hate bulimia.

3. Face the reason why you became bulimic in the first place. Write down why you purged the first time. What did you feel? Why did you do it?
Face THAT issue..the reason why you threw up the first time. That is usually the root of the problem. WRITE THIS DOWN IN A JOURNAL.

4. Figure out why you continue to be bulimic when you don't want to be. Do you still have underlying issues you haven't dealt with? Have you literally become addicted to food? Or is it the throwing up you are addicted to? WRITE THIS DOWN IN A JOURNAL.

5. What can you do to avoid binging and puring? What are alternatives? Taking a bath? Listening to music? Going for a drive? Or even lying down on the bed and screaming and crying until the urge to binge passes? (I have done this many times) WRITE DOWN WHAT YOU CAN DO INSTEAD OF B/P.

6. Find something other than bulimia that you really love, and throw all your passion into that one thing.

7. Write down what you want out of life. A family? Career? Health? Recognize that none of those things will come true if you stay bulimic.

8. Start to LOVE and PAMPER yourself. Take baths, do your nails, go to the movies, nourish your body with good food when it is hungry. Eat off the good china, wear your good jewerly! Live every day like it is a celebration.

The first week will be VERY HARD AND SCARY. Prepare yourself. You just have to decide to fight off the urge to binge and purge with every fiber of your being. You will want to scream and do both. You will have to avoid ALL foods that tempt you. You will be moody and on edge with other people. But after the first week, you will be PROUD. The second and third and fourth week are easier, but still hard. You have to fight off every temptation to b/p like your life depend on it..and it does, really.


And have faith that when you are living the life you were meant to, loving yourself and your body, you will have a self worth that is greater than you could ever imagine.

Also..keep calling and looking for doctors who will take your problems seriously. Keep calling and bugging that state funded ED program and begging them. Can you get into the inpatient program?? Don't give up. Write letters!!!

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