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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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BAD day!!!
Feb 15, 2006
Yesterday I had a really bad day. I felt like I ate too much and too much junk. I also weighed myself this morning and I have gained 2 pounds in about a weeks time. I just feel so bloated and horrible! I don't need to gain anymore weight! I'm 5'1" and 107lbs now, was 105. I'm short and small-framed. I haven't been counting cals and I've just been eating what I want. But this is really scaring me and want to just compensate today for all of it. Yesterday this is what I had:
B: bowl of frosted mini wheats, piece of toast w/ low-fat butter and low sugar jelly, 2 cups coffee
S: 6 tootsie rolls
L: hamburger, small fries, small vanilla cone from McDonalds (felt bad about this, cause I usually don't eat burgers and fries anymore but it just sounded good so I got it. Then I felt guilty the rest of the day.)
S: Banana drizzled w/ honey, handful of crushed corn flakes on top and a little bit of light whipped cream, then my fiance came home and gave me a box of chocolates for V-day so I had 2 of those.
D: Small piece of baked Italian style chicken (had mozz cheese and marinara sauce on it), side salad w/ ff dressing, small baked potato w/ light butter and ff sour cream and 2 tootsie rolls for dessert.
S: Apple and then a slice of bread right before bed.

I did total the cals and it was probably around 2200-2300. I usually have around 2000. I just had too many sweets and too much junk yesterday and I feel really guilty. Especially when I stepped on the scale this morning and found out I have gained 2 pounds now. I did put my scale away. I really don't want to use it anymore and know I shouldn't. I wouldn't be feeling this way if I wouldn't have weighed myself. I feel so bloated though too. I can feel those 2 pounds everywhere on my body. I feel as if I've gained 10. My belly has flab, my thighs are bigger, my butt is bigger, and the cellulite on the backs of my legs is getting worse and worse. I feel gross, that's how I feel. How do I pull myself out of this one?? How do I keep on eating normally feeling this way?? I'm feeling completely discouraged now and like I just want to give up and start counting cals again and eating only my "safe" foods. All of my jeans are tight and uncomfortable to wear. Another thing I've been thinking about alot is if you can really eat what you want and when you want and be a healthy weight, then why are so many people fat? Isn't that what they do? I just don't understand it! As you can tell I'm going down hill and fast. I need advice, reassurance, whatever.....please help!!!

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