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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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hey sweetie, i'm glad to hear you're doing so well (you sound really happy in your post!) i don't want to be ALWAYS criticizing you and offering an unending stream of advice, but i just want to say a quick thing. i don't think that you eating light and restricting on the days you go out to eat is a good idea. here's why: even when you DO go out to eat, you hardly eat anything, definitely not more than if you made dinner at home. it's not as if you're going to go out and order the lasagna, salad with REAL dressing ON it, and eat 4 garlic breadsticks. you're going to order something light and healthy and not eat much of it, am i right? i'm not criticizing you for this, i'm just trying to point out what i see happening every time you go out to eat. so by restricting, you're just worrying about nothing really. you DON'T eat more when you go out to eat, and since you ate barely ANYTHING today, you just will not take in hardly any calories today. i just estimated what you ate today to be under 700 calories. i'm sorry, but that is not enough, regardless of what you're going to eat for dinner. your metabolism is gonna get really screwed up! i don't understand how your nutritionist is okay with this honestly. if you are supposed to be "recovering," then how does restricting all day because you're going to a restaurant help??? really, try to think about this. talk to your nutritionist too. it just doesn't seem right at all and i can't understand why your nutritionist doesn't even ADDRESS this issue.

anyway, i think i went on a little tyrant there, but i really hope you do have fun with your friends tonight. are you all celebrating anything special or just going out for fun? anyway, i hope its a good, relaxing time.

in terms of me, i'm doing okay, but feeling back to a little hopeless again. i think i lost the two pounds i gained last week even though i haven't changed anything. (must've been stupid period weight. grr, i was actually getting hopeful i'd be able to stop counting calories soon. sunday was SO great!) i just don't understand how i'm ever supposed to get better. before i'd just think, well i'll eat a little more calories and THEN i'll gain weight, or i'd think, well if i do NO walking at all and just sit in my desk all day, THEN i'll gain weight, but what am i supposed to think now? i'm eating friggin' 3300/day and NOT walking at all (boring life, by the way) and i'm gaining weight at like 1 pound per month! this is gonna take forever!

sometimes i wish my weight just didn't matter in it all, you know? like we could throw away that stupid scale (which i ironically didn't even OWN before therapy) and focus on eating without counting calories and eating more freely and naturally. cuz let me tell you, what i'm eating now is NOT natural at all and it doesn't feel that way either. i'm never hungry (only breakfast and lunch), i'm ALWAYS eating, i'm bloated, i'm "backed up," ugh. i'm not really as frustrated as i sound, i guess, i'm just feeling kind of frustrated now. like i can no longer see how i'm ever supposed to recover. this has been going on for months! i wish we could just ignore the weight part and focus on everything else, you know? but i understand that you have to be at a "healthy weight." i just don't see how i'm gonna get there.

anyway, i'm doing better than i sound, just confused! i don't get it anymore! but i figure i'm having fun and feeling good right now in life, so who knows, maybe i'll start gaining soon! although we all know ED will freak out at that too! anyway, happy day wishes to all of you from me too!

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