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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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I'm so glad you're feeling better today, LS!! And you're right, it really does help whenever we hear about the success of other people here. It's really easy to feel down one minute and totally up the next. That's one of the things that is so frustrating about our ED's, and those "swings" are one of the many things that make recovery so difficult. I don't know how to fight those feelings off yet, but hopefully I'll learn with time. Hopefully we will ALL learn with time. We just have to keep encouraging each other along the way.

I have done really great with my meal plan today. I had a good breakfast--cereal, an egg, and milk, lunch--turkey sandwich, some baby carrots, 3 strawberries AND a small slice of cheesecake!!!, and dinner--talapia, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. Even though I know I was supposed to eat all of this (except for maybe the cheesecake), I feel absolutely HORRIBLE!! I can't stand this feeling. It just feels like I have completely messed up, and I wonder what in the world was I thinking by eating all of that food in one day! My stomach is sticking out and I just want to go out and run like 10 miles or something. This SUCKS!! I know recovery isn't going to be fun, but is it really supposed to make you feel THIS bad? I know I preach to everyone else about forcing themselves to eat more and to feel good about it, but when I actually do it, it just makes me want to restrict SO MUCH!

I got a phone call from the receptionist for my therapist today, and I told her my problem with finding someone to keep my kids for the full day program. She was supposed to have my therapist call me back, but I never heard back from them. So, all of that is still very much up in the air. I really hope they can work with me on the schedule b/c I am so on the verge of regressing and going back to restricting, you know?

LS, I'm glad you told me that info about the heart and other organs needing padding. I never knew that, and never realized that just by being underweight that it could be dangerous to your heart. That really scared me b/c I have been having so many pains lately. Hearing that really helped me to be able to make myself eat more today too. I think that's how I was able to get myself to eat the cheesecake, cuz I normally wouldn't go anywhere NEAR that!! I just wish I wouldn't let the bad full feelings overrule my common sense that tells me it's a good thing to keep eating. Those bad feelings (from Ed I guess) are really powerful, you know?

Hopefully this full feeling won't last long and I'll get back to thinking it's okay to eat again tomorrow. At least my body got some nutrients today anyway. Hope you had a good "food day" too, LS, and everyone else here too.

Joni, hope you're okay. If you read this, check in and let us know how you're doing, k?

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