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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board


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Re: Am i wrong
Jun 16, 2006
i understand the swimming in darkness but imagine it to be like oil in water it seems to be everywhere and sticky but if u keep swimming eventually u will get throu it we all swim at different paces some may get out quite quick and others longer but having hope and belief helps. i think yr relationship is v important wiv ur husband what i have done in the past is even when i cant believe myself i try hard to believe and accept others 'compliments' i think therpy would be really benifical i think u have alot of issues which are prob inbedded from a while and one thing stood out like u said u wasnt happy at yr previous weight nor now which cud be why attempts perhaps seem pointless but obviously it dosnt stop those desires. for me at the mo my goal is to improve my perception by loosing the weight but i am embarking on safer ways, througth exerciseing and increasing my eating but healthly it is construcive and my drive is i know i will be better once ive lost the weight, but i know that i will need to regognise my boundaries, to also accept that i wont be happy perhaps even if i do lose the weight cos the issues i have r more internal and relate to how i accept myself, i wounder if i will accept who i am or even discover who iam it is hard when others c more than we can see and seems harder when they r positives. i think for us it isnt just about what others c but how we feel inourselves, which is why therpy for us is so important, we try to deal with our struggles througth weight. overeating can supress and push down how we feel. food can be a sorce of comfort as well as torture to some maybe for example we all to some degrees display what we want others 2 c some want to look unwell maybe i think cos it relates to how we feel inside and compliments can drive us further to displaying something is wrong, i have a few good friends who have 2 differnt spectrums of ed as well as my own experience one overeats the other undereats but both so alike alot is about coping and hiding under are shells cos really it is about who we r. maybe u dont really know yrself or yr limits and u dont define yrself v well i think like u said u be unhappy without yr husband is prob cos he fullfills areas u find hard to give yrself
as for the swimming we r constantly thinking how many laps shall we do and occaionly will push ourselves we need to relate this to food as well i think u deprive yrself of feelings and maybe u feel u deprive yrself of food and overeat to satisfy this another way 2 think is maybe u eat cos it makes u feel worse or u dont believe u deserve suff
ed are complex and complicated but u r begigging to address them i think u deserve more support like a therpist in learning to like yrself more
take care





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