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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Eating Disorder Recovery Board Index

I believe I struggle with an ED though I try not to think of myself like that...denial some days, restrictive others---but always frustrated with eatting. My story in a nutshell: I was healthy 18 yrs , 5'7'' 140 lbs athletic in highschool..(i felt fat) started freshman year in college more excersise threw up for the first time, but mainly cut calories dramatically like 800-1000 sophmore year lost a lot ----people noticed, liked it, I felt FREE!! my lowest was only 118 lbs. I felt wonderful...but yucky. I was doing mainly restrictive and excersise everyday. I didn't vomit unless I drank alcohol usually. Then people got scared ---a little counseling and support I said I would get healthy. I have since gained and I hover around 126-128....I don't feel comfortable. I am now 24. I am in love I don't want to be silly about food. I feel so tied to it, to my ED. Lately I will put something in my mouth and the spit it out. I feel hungry at night but just oh so guilty in the mornings if I ate something the night before. Now I eat 1300-1500 calories workout like weights, classes, swim, 5 days a week..because I don't want my metabolism to slow. BUT i want to looooooose ten pounds so badly. HELP PLEASE WHAT CAN I DO.[FONT="Book Antiqua"][/FONT]

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