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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Eating Disorder Recovery Board Index

I've been experiencing this for almost 5 years, since I was about 12 or 13. I have to say that for a long time, I was bingeing and purging, but I knew it was unhealthy and forced myself to stop. It wasn't really that I felt that I was hurting myself, I just knew that in the long run it wasn't a solution...and that if I want to lose weight I have to do it the right way. With diet and exercise, etc.

What I can't understand is why I have to be the one to say "I can't eat that even though other people can and they don't gain weight". It's so flaky, I know, but it's how I feel, I feel like I'm burdened with this, but i shouldn't have to be. It's just unfair and I don't appreciate that. Sometimes I totally rebel against the system and just eat whatever I want...but then the next day I look in the mirror and I see what I don't want to see! I don't want big hips and small breasts and a big nose and curly hair! This is all I have in this life, I only get one shot. Why do I have to be the one to struggle when there are so many beautiful women out there that have it so easy? What did they do that was so much greater that they get to be pretty and thin, but I have to be frumpy and fat? I want to look nice, i want to feel accepted in a crowd. I want to be on that magazine cover or on tv, or on broadway. I don't know, it's just a thought...

Feel Free to REspond, please!!

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