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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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(oops--just realized that should have been "*Not* sure" in the header [img][/img])

Hi everyone-

I really don't know if I should be posting here. I know for a fact that I don't have anorexia or bulimia, but I do feel like I have an eating disorder.

To begin with, I'm overweight. That's not just me--I know my weight isn't healthy for my height and build. I'm not obese by a long shot, but I definitely need to lose some weight.

I have *awful* eating habits. When I was a little kid, I could eat anything I wanted and I was still stick-skinny--I didn't gain weight from the time I was 10 until I was 12. But when my metabolism caught up with me in high school, I just didn't change.

I eat junk food constantly. I don't eat a lot at a time, but it seems like I'm always eating and it's always food that's bad for me. I live in a dorm, and I hate the food here, and it seems like I live off cereal, bread, and desserts. I get hungry when I'm alone, when I'm tired, when I'm seems like everything brings on the munchies.

My problem is this--I have a pathological dislike of some foods, mostly fruits and vegetables. I've thought long and hard about this, and I've finally realized that I can't stand to eat fresh, raw food. The thought of eating a piece of lettuce or an apple just makes me want to gag. I can eat dried fruit, canned fruit, fruit pie...but the real thing sickens me. I pretty much only eat cooked or packaged foods, which is why my weight has gone out of control (my bad exercise habits contribute as well.)

I know this isn't a serious eating disorder, or (most likely), even a real one. I've just never heard of someone who wants to throw up if they look at a tomato.

I don't know if I'm overweight because I'm depressed, or depressed because I'm overweight. I find myself pinching my fat all the time, staring at all the skinny girls (I go to school in Southern California), and wishing I could look like them. But I just can't summon the willpower to eat the healthy foods I hate and start exercising.

I know you're all dealing with much more serious problems than mine, and I feel so bad bringing my petty little problem here.

But I was wondering if anyone has any idea of what to do about this, or who to talk to. My mom is a nurse, and she's always bothered me about my eating habits since I became insanely picky around age six (I just about lived off PBJ's and cereal for a few years there), but she's never really tried to help me. She just tells me I should eat more vegetables.

Any help you guys can give me will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much.

[This message has been edited by tenar (edited 03-01-2001).]

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