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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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I do this to myself
Apr 19, 2001
I know that I am way too hard on myself.....I can't even enjoy life because ALL I think about is how many calories I have taken in vs. how many I have burned... This morning when I woke up I felt extra fat even though I know I didn't do anything different the day before for some reason I didn't feel dizzy, weak or nauseous for change... So I set out to "fix" that..used the treadmill for about 1 hour... then did 15 mins of crunches, leg lifts, etc.. then I went on with my normal routine of figuring out exactly what I was going to eat...when..and how many calories each time to end up with my 500 calorie total. Well, I did this and then decided I still hadn't worked hard enough so I hopped back on my treadmill for another 20 mins... then finally I started feeling I tried some green tea but that didn't help..I knew my body wanted food but I had already used my total for the day..UGGHH So, only because the nausea was getting really bad I ate 1/2 can of pineapple chunks and now physically I feel much better but mentally I feel like a "failure" I gave in...I am weak and tommorrow I will probably weigh more..

This wouldn't be so bad but this is a typical day for me..only normally I don't cheat and go over my total.. so it gets tiring ....Tell me I am not the only one who "stir frys" 1/2 onion, 1 small green pepper and 10 baby carrots in Pam and then tops it with 2 Tablespoons balsamic vinegar for dinner? :-( and I will still feel full, fat and guilty after eating this


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