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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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I feel so fat . . .
Sep 10, 2001
Hello everyone . . .

I've had an ED for about 5 years, although it has drastically improved in the last 2 years or so. I recently fell in love for the first time, and I felt so happy that I stopped caring so much about my weight. Since I started seeing him, my weight has climbed up to 99.5 pounds. The other night he made an innocent comment about my breasts being larger than they were (he apologized immediately once he realized what this would mean to me) . . . but I feel so fat now I can barely take it. I'm at a very healthy weight for my height, and I HATE it. I feel so ugly, and like I've failed. I know that's a stupid thing to say, but I feel like I've failed by not being severely underweight . . . I'm sure some of you understand that. I'm not a "good" anorexic . . . I'm a fat failure. Sorry to moan and groan like this, but I feel down and I thought writing would help me get it off my chest. Thanks for listening, and I hope you're all feeling well.


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