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Darn, they messed up my thread . . .So I'll continue it here . . . This is supposed to be under the "help me, I failed" thread:

Thank you for all the replies, everyone. I still feel low this morning, and fat, but I'm doing my best to move on. I'm not going to weigh myself today (I'm also trying to work on only weighing in once a week - afterall, it's not what you do every day, it's what you do on average over a given amount of time - no one eats perfect every day). I'm trying to tell myself that if I make it to my birthday, it's still a big deal to say "You know, I've only binged once in the past 6 weeks" or whatever. Just because I failed once doesn't mean I have to fail again. My biggest emotion is FEAR right now. I can't shake it, I'm just so scared of doing this again. Do you think that's good (as in I will be less likely to do it again because I remember how awful it is, etc), or bad (as in this negative emotion is setting me up for another binge)? I'm afraid to get on with my day because I HAVE to eat at some point, and that might lead to a binge! I am trying to eat more on a regular basis, I have my calorie intake up to 800-1600. Today is going to be a lower-cal day just because I ate so much last night that I'm just not hungry today.

Cloudy - don't feel bad about your binge. It actually kinda makes me feel better to know that you had a setback, too. Because you still want to get better and will carry on with your recovery knowing that slipups happen. If you can pick yourself up again, so can I. Are you eating enough every day to satisfy your caloric needs? If you get "munchies" on less than 1500 calories a day, then eat more!! And don't try and comensate for the binge by eating little today - that just sets you up for another binge, right? You want health so badly - so go after it. Make weight loss or maintenance a secondary thing in your life right now. Get better, and THEN work on eating healthier foods and getting more exercise. I am trying to put my weight aside for a while (EEEEK!!) and work on beating the ED behaviour that has me in chains. One of my biggest motivators right now is actually something you said a little while ago (at least I think it was you - sorry if it's someone else!!) . . . I don't want to be 80 years old and still living like this. Secret binges, endless starvation, etc. It's not what I want. And I won't grow out of it, I have to dig myself out of it. Might as well start now so I can actually ENJOY the rest of my life! wow, this post is a LOOONG one . . . Take care

Fiona





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