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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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Hi, Kaela. :)

Welcome to Health Boards!

OkayÖ first of all, NO MORE APOLOGISING! Got it? :D Seriously, there is absolutely no need to apologise for Ďventingí; everyone comes here for some support, and youíre entitled to some too!

I have to askÖ are you receiving any help for this? Itís very serious, as you well know, and itís important you begin to work through this with a therapist as soon as possible.

You seeÖ thatís the problem with bulimiaÖ people begin thinking itís all under their controlÖ and then pretty soon they canít stop the whole binging/purging cycle and they get more and more depressed as it gets more and more out of their control. Also, it is not a permanent way to lose weight (and definitely not a healthy one!). Once the binging become out of your control, wellÖ itís difficult to keep the weight down. I donít even know why Iím bothering to write all this because Iím sure you know it all already!

Try for a few times Ė even if itís only after a small meal like a cup of soup or something Ė to delay your purging for a few minutes. Youíll find that the longer you wait, the less anxious you will become in the long run. :) Just give it a go. By the end you wonít even need to purge at all!

Please, donít ever cut yourself of from your friends. It makes it that much easier to hide away from the world, and that much harder for recovery. Itíll make you depressedÖ please, just FORCE yourself to go out once in a while. I know itís hard, especially with a distorted body image, but you can do it! I know you can!

Your family cares for you a great deal. They are worried about you. Please, let them help you. Talk to them, or at least one of them. Then they can understand, and help you find the help you require and deserve. :)

I donít really know what the shortness of breath isÖ but I assume that the chest pains are from throwing up. I get them too, theyíre really horrible. Talk to your doctor about this. What you are doing is dangerous to your self. Itís a life threatening disorder, and you really need to get away from it as soon as possible.

You say you wonít die from thisÖ well, like JJay and Cat (who Iím sure youíll meet soon! :)) have told me just recently, this disease doesnít care who it takes. The trouble with bulimia is that there arenít as many physical things that make you look sick on the outside, so often people think youíre okayÖ when really, you are very sick, weak and in a lot of pain. This disease will take anybodyÖ please donít let that be you. :(

We here all understand that this isnít something that you can change overnight; so we donít expect you too. We do however, expect each other to try our absolute hardest all of the time. Even in our darkest and lowest moments, we must never give up. We have to fight for thisÖ for our Ďfreedomí you may call it. Look at it like that! Your eating disorder has you trapped but it isnít impossible to escape. Either you get it, or it gets you. Which would you rather it be?

Well, I think I've rambled on long enough now...

I wish you all the best in your recovery, and itís good to have you here to join us! (Well, except for the bulimia bit... it would have been even nicer under better circumstances!)

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