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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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Hey there, Dunc! :wave:

Let me just start by saying how lucky your girlfriend is to have someone like you to care for her and to look out for her... it's sad she had to put up with those terrible relationships first...

Which eating disorder people have can sometimes confuse me a little too... when I was first diagnosed with bulimia (which was after a diagnoses of anorexia) I never binged at all. I simply purged... and restricted. Yet still, I apparently WAS bulimic.

Personnaly, I would say that your girlfried was bulimic, but also anorexic. It IS possible to have both (I have both, so I KNOW it's possible!). I have also heard some people describe this as 'purging anorexia' which is fairly self explanatory.

You're right though. Even your girlfriend can't say for certain which eating disorder it was... only a professional can do that. We here certainly can't, but we can give out oppinions. And we will (have?), I'm sure! :)

I am somewhat sceptical though, about what your girlfriend plans to do after reaching her goal weight of 126 pounds. Once you've already been affected by an eating disorder in the past, and then involve yourself in dieting rituals once again, nothing will probably ever be enough. That's the scary, but honest, truth. Deffinately keep on the lookout for her taking this diet too far again. But don't overdo it; there is nothing anorexics or bulimics hate more than to feel watched, or like someone is trying to control your life.

I do wonder if your girlfriend ever received any professional help for overcoming her eating disorder. If not, perhaps there's still a chance that she would agree to get some? It's just that, she really sounds as though she has increadibly low self esteem, and a terrible body image... things that all feed an eating disorder. :( Please, try to persuade her into therapy... she doesn't have to do it alone... you can always accompany her if that'll make it easier for her. That or she could even go to group sessions... some people find that easier.

In the end, it all comes down to your girlfriend. It's her decission whether or not she is ready to give this eating disorder up (that is, if she hasn't already), and it's up to her whether or not she would like any outside help for it. No one can force her into anything... this is something that lies in her own hands... lets just hope that she does the right thing.

You say you wonder why she won't (or can't) believe you when you tell her that she is beautiful. I'm afraid that's it's not as simple as that. The eating disordered just don't see that for themselves... sometimes they can even get angry and fed up with being told that if they can't see if for themselves. :( It's a long hard process, but therapy changes our way of thinking so that we learn to accept ourselves for who we are, instead of simply seeing all that we're not. I really do believe that your girlfriend would be best off if she received some counselling for her negative body image - I'm sure no one wants to see her developing an eating disorder as bad as last time once again.

I think you already understand the above paragraph for yourself because of the comment you made:

[quote]"Listen to other people and believe them" ......and Iím not daft enough for one second to think that people with eating orders are capable of taking that advice.

Speaking as someone who has never had an eating disorder, I find it extremely hard to understand that my gf is incapable of believing me when I tell her she looks great. However, you donít always have to understand something to accept it and believe it."[/quote]

Good luck to you both, Dunc. Just be there for your girlfriend. That's one of the most important things. :)


Oh, and sorry for all of the spelling mistakes. It's past 3am and I'm kind of out of it!

[This message has been edited by Ashlee (edited 07-11-2002).]

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