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Re: Ashlee
Jul 22, 2002
Hey there, 9Volt! :) Thanks for updating us; I was wondering how things were going for you.

First off, let me congratulate you on how well you have done lately! SEVEN DAYS! [img]http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif[/img] Thatís great news, 9Volt; keep it up!

Another great thing about it is that you were aware that you might gain a little weight during your recovery, but you went ahead and did good all the same! This shows you are concentrating more on what is GOOD for you and what is healthy, rather than all the things the eating disordered usually concentrate on. Youíre doing so well now 9Volt... youíre really getting better!

Now, about your fiance. I donít really think that being kind of neutral at the time you told him was such a bad thing. I mean, finding out that the person you love is battling an eating disorder is a lot to take in! Donít forget that he really doesnít know all that much about eating disorders yet, so not really knowing what to say is pretty much to be expected. Once he learns a little more, heíll be more understanding, Iím sure!

A reason that he may have gotten mad when you told him you would like some time to yourself could simply be that at the moment he really wanted to spend time with you. For all you know, it may not have had anything to do with your bulimia!

Also, he is probably quite worried about you now, and wants to make sure that youíre okay at all times. He may have taken what you said to him the wrong way. Meaning, he may have thought you meant you didnít want to spend time with him at the moment, rather than that you simply wanted to spend a little time by yourself. Those are two very different things. If this is what happened, then next time try to make absolute certain that he understands WHY you want to be alone, so as to avoid any more confusion. Thereís nothing wrong with wanting a little time to yourself, after all! :)

You say that you donít want to be around him anymore... is that purely based on that fact that he has some issues with alcohol? Do remember that alcohol is addictive... and is very difficult to give up. Is he willing to get help for this just as you are willing to get help for your eating disorder? Maybe you could talk to him about this now.

If you need to, you two could possibly even take a little time apart. Youíre engaged, right? That obviously means that there was something very special there between you two, and that you care very much about one another. Itís a shame to give that all up now, because of a few problems that can be worked through. Of course, if itís more complicated than that, and you really donít want to be around him at all, thatís your decision entirely.

Youíre not a Ďscrewed up bulimicí and you never will be. No bulimic is screwed up. They have issues, yes, but they are not screwed up. Like Sarah said, youíve come a long way, and thatís absolutely wonderful news. Donít give up on yourself and donít give up on your fiance. There are things that must be worked through... things that could take a long time... but you can both do it. I know you can, and I think that you know it too.

Take care of yourself, 9Volt... let us know how you are again soon, okay? :)

Ashlee

[This message has been edited by Ashlee (edited 07-23-2002).]





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