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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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Re: UGH!!!!!
Jun 26, 2003
Thanks for replying to my post. I appreciate your concern. I read a bunch of everyone's entries and it was really sad to see what bulima is doing to them. Seeing how this disease lasts all your life, even if you do recover, makes me not want to fall into that path. I dont want to go through all of that. One of the main reasons why I wanted to loose weight is to be healthy, becoming bulimic is def. not healthy. But overeating is becoming a real issue in my life. I think about food all the time whether I am hungry, not hungry, dieting, or not. I just want it to part of my life, not something I think about alot. As far as seeing a therapist, I'm not sure if it would be the best thing for me. I'd probably become more obsessed, and I dont think my parents would be willing to pay for it. Why do I always eat? I really dont know. I overeat because it is entertaining to do. So I prob. do eat out of boredom. I eat out of emotion too. But I dont go through many emotional ups & downs, so that's not normally why I am eating. Only sometimes. I eat because the food is there. I eat alot because it is a lifestyle for me, and it is hard to change. As for family members eating alot, my mom is a pretty big snacker. But she isnt like me. Oh and I have alot of hobbies. I play sports all the time. I play tennis and basketball. And, I am involved in work & marching band. So yes I do have many hobbies and a very busy scedule. So when I finally do come home, it is just nice to sit in front of the tv & pig out. It's my way of relaxing. Also, on top of sports, I do exercise everyday. It makes me feel better, and I view it as allowing me to eat more. So getting exercise everyday & playing sports, does help me to burn off some calories, but I just eat too much! Also, i have been on & off of a weight watchers diet. I dont know if you are familiar with it, but it is a very good dieting program. It allows you to snack every once and awhile, without eating too much. It forces you to exercise, eat ur fruits & veggies, & get all ur milk & water products. It worked for me for awhile, but I am just not disciplined enough to maintain it. Plus, when I think about causes me to think about food that much more. This can sometimes be overbearing. So what do I do? I go eat off my stress. This starts the process all over again. I feel guilty about what I just did. That's why I had bulimic thoughts, but I will be sure NOT to throw up while I still have control over myself. I just dont know how to handle all of this.

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