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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Eating Disorder Recovery Board Index

Over eating frenzy
Jul 30, 2003
im now 22. weight was always a big issue in my house growing up. my parents were always quick to point out when i gained any weight. a few of my sisters favorite nicknames for me were "chunk" (from the movie Goonies), "fatty" and fata$$. i was anorexic for a year, then realized it when i couldn't hold food down, then forced myself to eat and would feel guilty for eating, so i'd vomit.. and thus became bulemic...
i stopped throwing up when i started throwing up blood. then i gained weight, then i dropped 35 lbs in 2 weeks and went back to being annorexic and was foranother year. then i met my boyfriend (whom im still w/) and am now over weight. and i have a compulsive eating disorder. im hungry even after ive just ate and and so full my stomach hurts. i'm over weight (175-180 and 5'6") so by the charts and crap im about 30 lbs over weight.
severely depressed, on 300mg wellbutrin and 20mg lexapro. i try to exercise as much as possible, but i work a lot, and fight insomnia, so i'm often too darn tired.
i dont feel like i eat unhealthy, i just cant get rid of my appetite. i cant take diet pills b/c they all mess w/ your metabolism and mine's already screwed. plus they all have stimulants that will mess w/ my anti depressants. i've often contemplated using laxatives, but am too scared to have yet another eating disorder.

i need support, help, anything.......

it's so difficult. and i work in clothing retail too, so i'm constantly droning about my weight in my head.

the saddest thing, is i can look back on a period now, when i had an awesome body, healthy in all points, and i thought i was fat. and it always brings me to tears thinking about it because it seems so impossible to achieve now. especially knowing i'm fat.

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