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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Eating Disorder Recovery Board Index

bulemia has now completely taken over my life, im scared to leave my house, just arrived home from over seas travelling and havnt phoned any of my friends, or family as i have gained a few kilos and it seems to be the end of my world, and dont want anyone to see me?!?

i have been bulemic from about 15 to 18, then anorexic for a year, then went crazy diet pills, duramine, xenadrine, tenuate, name it, ive taken it. the diet pills are so dangerouse and such an easy way out for some one with an ED, they make you deal with the problem, not the cause of the problem.

i am already seeing the side affects of these diet pills, major mood swings, depression and no control of when to stop eating(on the diet pills you dont need any self control, they do it for you) which has lead back to bulemia.

i feel so shallow for being so obsessed about my appearance, modelling from the age of 15 untill last year hasnt helped my disorder at all, made be obsessive and desperate to be thin, im still a fairly good weight but my clothes are getting tighter making me crazy to get back to size, i look in the mirror and see a big fat blob!

anyway im desperate for help and dont know where to start, binging is getting way out of control, throat is so saw and coffing up blood. im scared and dont know how to stop. can any one give me any advise or books to read on how to stop??

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