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What should I do??
Aug 19, 2003
Okay, here is my history. I am 21 now. When I was 7, I hated school, well my teacher that is... so to get out of going to school one day, I made myself throw up. I saw that all the food (breakfast) I had just eaten came up. I did it a few times that year, but didn't do it again until I was about 10. My dad was making fun of me for eating so much. I am a dancer, and my parents were really strict with not overeating and being skinny so that when I was performing I looked good. Almost everytime he or my mom said something, I would make myself throw up. In 8th grade, I went from 80 pounds to 110. Itotally fgreaked out. Knowing by this time making yourself sick was bad, I started to count calories and fat grams. I became so obsessed with only letting myself have 900 calories a day. I would make myself sick if I went over or had to eat because someone was around like my friends or family members. Then as a freshmen this continued and I made the drill team at school. I also took ballet and dance at seperste studios. My director weighed us, measured our wrists, and took our height. She then showed us a chart of what we were supposed to weigh. I was 117 and 5'5, and she told me I could lose 5. Well, I ran with it. This just helped my habits. I was down to eating only 500 calories a day, and sometimes I would have to eat large meals so no one could find out, and then I'd rid myself of it. My sophomore year, I started looking bad, my family noticed. I denied having a problem until I started having fainting spells. One of my friends told the director she knew I made myself sick.I was at 95 pounds. She told my parents, and had a talk with me. My parents told me they were ashamed, and how stupid I was. They wouldn't let me do anything, and they treated me like crud. I went to counselors at school and talked with a nutritionist. Ever since then I have been alright, only occasionally doing anything like throwing up, or under eating. For a year now, I have not done it once, but constantly, i see how fat I am, and wish that I wasn't, I hate my body. I know if my boyfriend found out that I did this, he would freak, and thats why I don't.
What should I do?

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