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LS- From one who has been in the trenches for a very long time and went through years of infertility. Infertility is something one wants to cherish, as Chookie stated. :) ED's can effect ones infertility. This is something I am aware about as we went through infertility treatments for four years. That was a very tough time period- very stressful. The meds were difficult- causing lots of weight gain, severe mood swings (and I was an undiagnosed Bipolar at that time too). It is something you don't want to go through- that decision or process. We decided to adopt our children and we are so blessed we did.

You aren't fat, LS. You are healthy, and your going through a change with your eating habits and your body is adjusting to the eating habits, which like the others stated, is why you are getting your period.

It sounds like you have a wonderful life, and have many reasons to take pride in yourself. Take a step forward into the self-esteem "I like myself" :) direction and do not look backwards. ;) Having friends, a great boyfriend, a good job, and so forth, are all the wonderful things one needs in life to make a network work for them in support, especially when they are struggling. Use this network to your advantage towards getting well. These people in your life only want what is best for you, and want to see you healthy.

It would be very beneficial if you would seek the help of a nutritionist. They can help you the best with an eating plan to help you get well and not gain a lot of weight but help you eat healthy or work with you on the ED. There are nutritionists out there that do specialize in just ED's. Contact the hospitals or look in the yellow pages under the social workers or psych clinics.

Hang in there. I know it is not easy or a walk in the park. You are going to be okay. Keep believing in yourself and that you have a lot of goodness in yourself to be at the place where you are at. Healthy. :) You are doing just fine, and need to be proud of where you are and who you are.

Take care. :angel:

Coffeegirl
That is something that scares me the most - infertility...as well as osteoperosis. When I think about all the medical problems we face with Eating Disorders I TRULY wonder why we are not more afraid. And you know what I realized? We ALL think the same thing - that won't happen to ME. Yeah, some people become infertile, but not ME. Yeah, some people get osteoperosis, but not ME. Yeah, some people have heart attacks, etc, etc, the list goes on...I might be going out on a limb here, but I don't think the people who have had these things happen to them thought it would happen to them, either...
It obviously happens and the people it happens to are YOU and ME.

I am so proud of my recovery and even though I still have ED thoughts and wishes at times, I am 1,000 times happier now than I ever was before with ED. My life is so much richer and I am not planning my life around food - I am planning my life around things that MATTER - people, places, my job, my hobbies. It's incredible.

And yet, at the same time, I still worry sometimes, like I am now. Am I eating too much? Am I exercising enough? Am I fat and I didn't even notice!??! I really don't have the answers to these questions, but I guess I don't need them. As long as I maintain an active lifestyle (which I do), eat relatively healthy (which I do) and am happy (which I am), what do I have to worry about? I guess I am telling this more to myself than anyone else...I just need to realize that I am not going to wake up one morning and be FAT. I'm not going to look down one day and have a potbelly...these things happen over time and they take EFFORT.

Anyway, I am very happy and I think that I am doing a better job of seeing my period as a POSITIVE thing. If anything, it is a sign of my physical AND mental recovery and isn't a sign of being FAT, but rather a sign of being HEALTHY.
Hey LS! I can totally relate to how you feel! I just got my periods back last August. I had only had 2 since my daughter had been born in July 04! So basically I went almost 2 years without periods. The thing I hate the most about having periods again is all the water retention. Like today, I am 3 pounds heavier than I was only 2 days ago and I feel like a whale! I didn't have that problem when I wasn't having them. I've still be having alot of problems with ED lately. I just don't want to be fat and I feel like I'm getting that way. ED has been screaming at me lately...."you need to lose weight!" I've been doing my best at ignoring it. I just really like eating like a normal person again. But, I still experience so much guilt and worry about what I'm eating all the time. I don't want to go back to restricting and counting cals all the time again...that's the last thing I want. I feel like I was doing so much better a few months ago. I think alot of it has to do with being in nursing school right now. It's so stressful and I think the stress has alot to do with why I'm struggling right now. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know you are not alone in how you feel. Unfortunately, I have no good advice to give because I'm in the same boat. I just hope that someday both of us will get past this and ED will be ancient history in our lives!





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