Re: Some motivation: Benefits of recovery

Thanks! It's great to see some positive posts. I have been recovered from anorexia for 5 years now and while I still have the ED thoughts from time to time, I just don't act on them or give them any power.

I am enjoying recovery because:

1) I can sleep again! This was huge for me. When my ED was very advanced, I was lucky to get 1-2 hours of sleep a night because I kept thinking about food and how not to eat it and how hungry I was. I would sometimes go 3 day stretches without sleep. I still have the occasional bout of insomnia, but it is not bad at all and responds to the OTC supplement Valerian quite nicely when it hits. I feel wonderful getting enough sleep and not dreading bedtime every night.

2) I'm happy! I'm no longer depressed. In fact, I'm off all meds over a year now except Xanax as needed for anxiety, but even this I rarely use (once every 2-3 months maybe). I have a couple moody days each month but feel these are related to my hormones & menstrual cycle and are not true depression. I don't have urges to self injure or wish that I were dead.

3) I have energy again! I no longer feel faint, weak, dizzy or have heart palpitations! I don't worry that I am going to collapse and die.

4) My hair is much thicker and shinier. My skin has a healthy glow and is no longer flaky and sallow. In fact, since I have been supplementing my diet with fish oil and evening primrose oil, my skin looks awesome!

5) I don't have to spend so much time exercising and waste my day on it. In fact, if I don't exercise on a given day, it doesn't bother me much. I always take 1-2 days off from exercise each week to rest and recover and I never took a day off when I had the ED without feeling so bad and guilty and hating myself.

6) My life is no longer ruled by food. I don't obsess over it, over how not to eat it, I don't watch Food Network for hours and hours, or wander grocery stores for hours or hoard food or think about it at night before I fall asleep.

7) I can eat junk from time to time without hating myself. I can go to parties and occasionally indulge and not feel bad about myself.

8) I no longer have to weigh myself every single time I go to the bathroom and even some times between. I weigh myself just once a week and the number hardly changes from week to week!

9) I eat when I am hungry and stop when I am full. This was tricky because the ED will tell you that you're full after one bite; now, I listen to my stomach and my body. When I feel weak and tired and haven't eaten in awhile, I get a snack.

10) Recovering from an ED gives a HUGE boost to your confidence and self-esteem. Because it is so difficult to recover from an ED, once I did recover, I felt like I could do anything!

11) Recovery allowed me to move on with my life instead of being obsessed over food. I started dating for the first time. I put a profile on an online dating site and I had a ton of hits. I got asked out by a lot of men, some I had to turn down because they seemed iffy, but others I dated and had fun & I met the man who is now my husband. I finished my master's degree, we bought a house, I'm writing again, I've taken up positive hobbies--gardening & photography.

12) I LIKE myself and can help others recover. I was pro-ED for many many years until I hit rock bottom, and it is just not worth it.