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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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Hii!!! wow you sound exactly liek me!!! i am 16 and ive been going through this since i was about 7!! the whole fear of choking thing occured when i was about 7 untill 11 then went away. I was always scared someone would drug me by my food and drink! i wouldnt allow mum to make my food or drinks or my family and friends!!! when i go otu i wont drink bcoz i just cant! i freak out! i wont eat anything i havent opened and i dont like eating things in case they are drugged!! i feel like everyones evil i dont trust anyone its liek a feeling ther all out to get me!! im also scared of being drugged by needles which freak me bcopz i freak out in public places if people try to go to near incase they drug me!! i also cant stand walking in anything other than trainers incase ther needles on the ground! i dotn understand why i think like thisand dont know whether ill ever be normal again!! this has been happeneing since i was about 12 untill now!! my phobia of choking has recently come bak and i cant eat!!! i dont eat all day at school or at work and im eating very little which is bad bcoz ppl have noticed!! people comment at work and they thing i have an ED!! ihave had issues with my weight last yr and made myself sick but now all i want to do is get the food down my damn throat! i just cant seem to!!! i can costantly feel something stuk in my throat which upsets me!! and i avoid all foods such as salad and sweets and anything hard or meat... yes for the last half a yr ive lived on ice cream yohgurt, the odd bit of chocolate too!!! my life feels liek a living hell and i cant controll it.. people c\nt understand when i freak out and they seem to get annoyed but i have trouble breathing im not sure if its panik attacks but i have had anxiety all my lifee and i feel unable to breath which makes me panic more and feel ill and cometimes collapse!! i feel like i have every anxiety issue in the bbook!!i guess i dont but im just so scared! its seriously upsetting me and i dont no what yto do any more i want fooood!"!!! and i want to sleep!!! i cant sleep for panik!!! its hell and god this is long but hey i thought i was alone!!!! thank you
hi!! im dealing with the same thing and i posted on one of the other posts you replied to!! i am 16 and hve been dealing with fears of choking since i was small and fears of being drugged!! it still haunts me and im really freaking out!!! i dont know what to do with myself! i cant eat anything left out or anything anyone has made and people go mad at me !! i feel out of controll of it but i just have anxiety attacks when i try to eat!!! puhhh i wrote more about it on another of your posts ... get bakc to me please!!! i hate being alone
Just wanted to echo what rosequartz suggested. It does sounds like an OCD. I noticed that you've only posted twice on the healthboards. I don't know if you've had much time to browse around but there is an OCD forum and they may be able to offer you support also:) .

Anxiety can be crippling. Are your parents aware of what's been going on? Please talk with them or a school counselor you trust. Don't try to battle this alone :angel: (((hugs))).

Love, Kelly
OMG. This is my first time searching the web to see if anyone else suffers the same as me.... I'm relieved (yet saddened) to find others. I thought I was losing it!!! Actually I am losing it. I won't eat or drink anything!!! I don't know what to do. All I think about it how hungry I am... but I don't want to eat because I don't want to die. I won't drink fountain drinks from gas stations because someone poisoned them... I won't drink water from the sink because the pipes might be lead and the poison will kill me. I won't take asprin because it'll deteriorate my stomach lining, and if that doesn't happen my liver won't be able to filtrate or my kidneys will shut down. And it's not all in my head... I actually FEEL my liver straining to filtrate medication.... I feel my heart racing reacting to "drugs" someone put in my food. I'm miserable. It even affects my relationship... I make my boyfriend taste EVERYTHING before I put it in my mouth.... and then make him sit with me in case I need to be taken to the hospital to get my stomach pumped..... I am 23 years old and I'm a full-time student at Louisiana State University... I want my life back.. WHAT DO I DO???? I can't live like this... yet I can't stop it.

What you've described are common OCD obsessions. As others have said, try reading and posting on the OCD board. You will find many with the same fears, I believe.

I think you should go to a therapist and be evaluated. Medication might well help you, as will Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Please do get some help. YOu don't have to live this way.

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