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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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Hii!!! wow you sound exactly liek me!!! i am 16 and ive been going through this since i was about 7!! the whole fear of choking thing occured when i was about 7 untill 11 then went away. I was always scared someone would drug me by my food and drink! i wouldnt allow mum to make my food or drinks or my family and friends!!! when i go otu i wont drink bcoz i just cant! i freak out! i wont eat anything i havent opened and i dont like eating things in case they are drugged!! i feel like everyones evil i dont trust anyone its liek a feeling ther all out to get me!! im also scared of being drugged by needles which freak me bcopz i freak out in public places if people try to go to near incase they drug me!! i also cant stand walking in anything other than trainers incase ther needles on the ground! i dotn understand why i think like thisand dont know whether ill ever be normal again!! this has been happeneing since i was about 12 untill now!! my phobia of choking has recently come bak and i cant eat!!! i dont eat all day at school or at work and im eating very little which is bad bcoz ppl have noticed!! people comment at work and they thing i have an ED!! ihave had issues with my weight last yr and made myself sick but now all i want to do is get the food down my damn throat! i just cant seem to!!! i can costantly feel something stuk in my throat which upsets me!! and i avoid all foods such as salad and sweets and anything hard or meat... yes for the last half a yr ive lived on ice cream yohgurt, the odd bit of chocolate too!!! my life feels liek a living hell and i cant controll it.. people c\nt understand when i freak out and they seem to get annoyed but i have trouble breathing im not sure if its panik attacks but i have had anxiety all my lifee and i feel unable to breath which makes me panic more and feel ill and cometimes collapse!! i feel like i have every anxiety issue in the bbook!!i guess i dont but im just so scared! its seriously upsetting me and i dont no what yto do any more i want fooood!"!!! and i want to sleep!!! i cant sleep for panik!!! its hell and god this is long but hey i thought i was alone!!!! thank you

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