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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board


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I never used to think of being fat ever, never crossed my mind for a minuite, until one day when i was like 16 yrs old my friend and i were at a club and she turned to me and said she was fat, she would always talk about it and she was . I started thinking "well if she is fat that what am I" I used to never eat breakfast or lunch maybe because of laziness at the time. When i gained weight i started to stop eating. i would do this for a while than i would purge if i did eat. It wasnt all the time it was just when i felt about the way i looked or felt. I know that i was never really fat . I would gain weight than lose in a week. That has gone on as long as I can remember. When i got pregnant I gained . After 9 months i . I felt gross and ugly. I would again occasionally binge and purge, or just not eat at all. Well i started to get really sick and long story short after suffering for 15yrs i was diagnosed with stage IV endometriosis, and it had covered my bowels etc. I was always bloated to this added to my discust with my body. About three years ago I quit smoking and gained . Finally after everything i am down and feel like a fat cow. I now binge and purge maybe 2-3 times a week and i do monthly enemas. I hate the way i feel. I dont like being in my own skin. If i lost i would feel fine. I dont feel comfortable. I feel bloated and fat and gross. I recently starting thinking that my behavior isnt normal for a 30yr old and that i should probably get help, but i am not sure if I am classified as having an eating disorder because i dont do it everyday.

Anyway, maybe I need to go get help.





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