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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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Hi to anyone out there, and thanks for taking the time to read this. :)
I haven't posted on here before, so I'm not really sure what to write... but I've read some of the threads and have noticed that there are others out there who are going through similar things I am.

For a bit of background, I am a 22 year old Aussie girl, living with my family and my grandpa, who is very ill. I have borderline personality disorder, major depressive disorder, anxiety, two impulse control disorders, obsessive compulsive disorder and bulimia. I used to be a university student and in the honour society, until I was indecently assaulted... then I failed most of my courses, switched from anorexia to bulimia, dropped out of uni and attempted suicide. That was a couple years ago, and at the moment I'm coping, although I still self harm and am addicted to laxatives. I have hidden all of this, except the sexual assault, from my family.

The laxative addiction is what physically limits me the most lately: I've cut down from dozens per day to just a few, but my day is still planned around them! I'm sure those of you who have been there will understand. I have not had a job for years, but the way I am at the moment I could not manage one. Also, therapy has drained most of the money I had saved up, so I need to do something!

I am in the process of planning my own business with flexible hours, but I know that that won't take away the need for me to quit my addiction... and today I have found my biggest motivation: the possibility of leasing a horse, which would be a dream come true! :D

So I was wondering, for those that have been through it, how would you recommend I go about quitting my addiction to laxatives? Any advice/ support would be very much appreciated! Thank you for taking the time to read this :)
Hi Aileb,

Thank you HEAPS for the reply! I've never talked about this to anyone, and it means sooooo much to know I'm not going through this alone :D
I haven't had any drugs (that's definitely what they feel like!) since Saturday night... the longest I've gone without them in over a year and a half ~ so I'm a bit freaked out but also kind of hopeful that I can beat this addiction! It's been pretty tough so far though (mentally and physically) and I know there's still a long way to go, but I'm trying to stay positive... and I want you to know that your words have helped a lot already :) so thank you!!!

Wow, sorry to hear about your relapse... it's amazing the effect these little pills can have on our lives, hey? I guess it never really hit me the damage I've been doing to my body. You know the funny thing? It was only the possibility of getting a horse that finally prompted me to quit... but since the start of this year, my grandpa has been living with my family, because he's very sick with, guess what..... bowel cancer. So one of the potential future effects of my addiction has been staring me in the face for almost a year now, but I've somehow (stupidly) managed to ignore it!

Anyway, thanks again so much for the support and for sharing some of your story with me... I truly wish you all the very best in your recovery and hope that you can live life to the fullest :D

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