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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Eating Disorder Recovery Board Index

I am a 37 year old mother of 4. I have struggled with bulimia and anorexia since I was 14. I still have relapses from time to time and I am currently going through one now. I am so disappointed in myself because I am better than this and I want to be a good example to my three girls, one of which is currently in inpatient treatment for anorexia and bulimia. I guess I have not battled my demons completely and gotten ahold of the triggers. I just quit smoking recently and gained weight...I almost find myself thinking that I would rather die from lung cancer than to be fat again. This is so very unhealthy... I know it is! I am just not strong enough right now. I feel like a failure as a mother and as a wife.... I don't know what to do....but I know that even knowing all of this, I will not stop making myself throw up and comstantly taking diet pills.

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