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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

Eating Disorder Recovery Board Index

You know, I heard in a documentary that it actually takes a while to heal from anorexia. Anywhere from 2 to 7 years. So I believe and know in my personal experience the changes happen very very slowly so please be encouraged that your thought processes will not always control you but will change very slowly and probably not at the pace you want. Also, i truly believe that with CBT your original thought processes will not just "so somewhere" but that they will be altered and changed slightly through gaining a different perspective about food, weight, control issues, and self esteem issues. I know this because I thought of having a different perspective of wanting to be a different person andbreak free from this disorder that has made me break my routine of excercising, and curently still working on the binging issue. What do you think about taking medications for anxiety towards food? For my thoughts about myself, my therapist noticed I interalized everything negative that was going on around me and that made sense because I always used to bring it back to the thought "well your so stupid/you are not smart and that's why that happened". So i also found that getting over anxiety and self esteem issues was realizing why I internalized certain things which often stems from childhood experiences (as you might already know) and challenging those thoughts and making alternative thinking.

Are there any thoughts/ experiences you can pinpoin from childhood that make you internalize situations which create slef hate and anxiety?

To answer the binge cycle questions, yes that is exactly it. I binge to eleviate my fear of feelings starved but then feel guilty which makes me obsess about excerise. I feel very anxious and want to binge when I am surronded by people that are eating junk food (chips, chocolate, sweets, pastries) that sort of thing. I know because I have become so health orientated, that I do not even like these foods but because I used to eat actually excessive amounts of these foods when I was bigger, so I feel very anxious, like my part of me wants to be able to ENDULDGE in these foods, but another half of medoes not so I feel anxiety and I always obsess about having a back up plan to eat vegetables to reduce this anxiexy. I always try and also restrict lattes, cappocino's, mocha's, those sorts of things because they are always part of my rules that I cannot have them or else i'll get fat. So tend to want to binge or binge if I can if I get nervous with situation surrounding those foods.

I can understand what you mean about always thinking about how hungry you are because it is all part of the repetitive cycle we cannot break free about. It is so annoying because you just want to focus on other things and enjoy life but are to tied down by your thoughts. If i may ask, what does a typical day look like for you? If you could kind of plan out your usual day with your eating disorder I think we could find more similarities.

Why I started therapy was because I want, eventually to have a day where I do not even think about food, and only eat when my body feels I need and stop eating when I am full and be satisfied by that. And just to clarify, you said your are about 117 pounds and 5' 6" and you still feel light headed,weak, and starving?

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