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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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Hell on Earth
Feb 21, 2012
I am a 24 year old male. Yep, a dude with an eating disorder. I have been struggling with it for 4 years now. It all started when I was prescribed adderall for my ADD. It was innocent at the time and really only involved skipping meals. I then went through a bad break up with my girlfriend and began partying pretty heavily.

This is where things really got out of control. I began a viscous cycle of not eating for 10-14 days. Literally nothing but water. I became so obsessed with my appearance. After the 10-14 days of starvation, I would eat like crazy putting on nearly 20 pounds everytime. After about a week of binge eating, I was back to starving myself.

I have never mentioned this to anyone, except my mother ( who has no idea of the seriousness ) , and probably never will. My friends have no clue and would never imagine. Looking back at it I am filled with so much shame. Children around the world are starving against their will and here I am doing it willfully.

I have done so much damage to my body and am surprised I am still here. Im still battling it, but its not as extreme. This is due to the fact my body can no longer take it. I wake up some mornings feeling so weak I can barely make it out of bed. I feel for anyone who has to deal with this. If you are on the outside looking in, you just can't understand it.

Anyone who feels themselves slipping into something similar please seek immediate help. This disorder is a darkness that can engulf your entire world. For anyone else dealing with this, how did it come about and what do you think brought it on. I am just curious because I have never discussed this with anyone. Thanks for taking the time to read and I hope this reaches atleast one person and makes them think twice about continuing this behavior before its too late.

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