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Eating Disorder Recovery Message Board

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I am 22 years old and I want to get off laxatives. Genetically, i suffer from lazy bowel syndrome and even when I increased my fiber intake I couldn't have a bowel movement (this was when I was 18). My parents are both physicians but they didn't take my concerns seriously even when I hadn't had a bowel movement for a week. The lack of control I had during my college applications combined with my struggles with constipation led me to have anorexia where I wasn't eating enough and then trying to get all the food out of my body with laxatives such as Milk of Magnesia, the blue tablets from walgreen's/walmart/CVS, phillip's, and dulcolax.

My parents found out about my laxative abuse and I quit cold turkey when my dad told me I could mess up my peristalsis (this was about after a year of abuse). I started eating better and more and my bowel movements turned back to okay--not great but better than before. My second year of college I started having chronic constipation again and I started taking laxatives again--at first just once every 2 weeks or so and then more frequently depending on what I'd had to eat that day up until now. I've never had more than 2 a day, and I generally vary the use for one every other day but there have been periods where I take one every day for 2 weeks or so. I've mainly taken dulcolax and the blue tablets.

I want to stop. I am currently traveling through Europe with my friends and I realized what I am doing to myself. I really don't want to tell my parents--not only because I will be disappointing them and irreversibly damaging my trust with them, but mainly because they take the wrong tactic into recovery which is threatening and forcing me to eat until I feel sick and disregarding my constipation and forcing me to reduce my fiber intake. I have been in Europe a little over 2 weeks now and I am suffering from lack of bowel movement for 4 days. I took a laxative last night--Barcelona brand dulcolax which is different from American brand in color and the fact that it literally did nothing. I have American brand dulcolax with me but I don't want to take it because I really want to stop.

I am eating plenty in Europe in the company and under the watchful eyes of my friends. I tried to get a papaya to eat last night but it hasn't helped. I also bought high fiber granola in Europe which costed a fortune and I am going to try eating today. I've read that greentea is good and coffee as well but I don't drink either so I'm afraid of making myself jittery. My friends also suggested I drink alcohol like sangria.

Please any advice and support is much needed. I hate mysel for what I've done to my body and refrainin from judgment would be appreciated. I don't want to see a doctor while in Europe because I don't have international insurance, and I don't really want to see one at home either even though I know I should. Please any advice or testimonies would help--I am just so uncomfortable and bloated!

I also leave to go to Korea shortly after my return to the US from Europe and I want to try to broach my recovery in Asia so any input would be great, I will be living in Korea for over a year.

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