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I never would have known about seeing a corneal specialist if I hadn't read you telling others the same thing several times. I'm not sure what the opthamologist that discovered the corneal ulcer specialized in, but I do know he was the LASIK surgeon. They knew I wanted to do it, so I can't help but wonder if that's why twice they insisted everything looked normal when I knew better. I don't want to believe that though. This opthamologist I'm seeing on Monday seems to have good credentials, so I can only hope that he wants to help me rather than rushing me out of there, as some doctors seem to do.

When I think back to the first two doctors I saw, I only get upset. If this had been treated appropriately from the beginning, perhaps it would've been under control much quicker. Instead, it was allowed to get worse for three months. And I've done enough reading to know that the longer you have these problems, the longer it takes to get under control.

I think I'll feel better if/when I can get this under control and just do the lid scrubs and warm compresses once a day. Unfortunately, my left eye has taken a turn for the worse today so it doesn't seem like that's going to happen anytime real soon. Doing them 3-4 times a day takes up so much time and isn't convenient at all.

I have been tested for Sjogren's. The results were negative. Then again, I don't have a regular PCP and the one I saw didn't seem all that great. I rarely went to see doctors until January. Now it's almost a weekly thing. I'm still concerned though that something could be wrong because from everything I've read, this is much more common in people that are middle-aged. Why am I having these problems being only 21?

This whole thing is still relatively new to me still since it's only been since January. I haven't gotten to the point where I'm ready to accept any lifestyle changes just yet, though it's becoming apparent that I may have to. One of them would clearly be my job since it's always much worse after working on the computer all day. But I am already scared to death that this won't ever go away and I'll have red eyes that burn and sting for the rest of my life. I'm still in the feeling sorry for myself stage, but at the same time, I am determined to get this under control. Particularly the redness right now.

The ulcer was awful. It was very small and apparently it was caught right away, but it was still very painful. What I've been feeling since then, as bad as it sometimes is, is nothing compared to how the ulcer felt.

And as for unsupportive people, my family I think came around more the last time I was over there. It was so bad that I kept my eyes closed most of the time I was there and was in a really bad mood, so I think they got the idea that this really bothers me. The worst one is my roommate, who also happens to be my ex-girlfriend (that's a long story in itself). I just got into an argument with her earlier this week because my sinuses were acting up on Monday and Tuesday, and I refused to take any antihistamines since a side effect is possibly dry eyes. I wasn't willing to take that chance but she wouldn't let it go and kept telling me one won't kill me. I'm not going to take the chance of making my eyes any worse than they already are. Like anyone else, all I want is a little understanding from people around me and not to be argued with for not wanting to take a chance on making them worse. Maybe I was overreacting and should've taken something, but I don't know.

I know that my eyes are dry. I don't know whether dry eyes caused the blepharitis, or if blepharitis caused the dry eyes (which is my guess since I have some clogged glands), but does anyone know if Restasis could help with dry eye symptoms associated with blepharitis? What about punctal plugs? I haven't been able to find much information about if either do any good when blepharitis is involved.

And Elyse, I know what you mean by being glad that there are others with these problems. I wouldn't wish these problems on anyone, but it's nice to have others out there. Particularly someone around my age like yourself. I hope your eyes improve soon! I know your latest issue with optic neuritis is the last thing you needed.

Chris

[This message has been edited by iChrisi (edited 05-03-2003).]





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