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Grief & Loss Message Board


Grief & Loss Board Index


Hi I am so down. My new man's mother has just died.

I have only been seeing him for 2 weeks and we live 1 hour away from each other. However during the past 2 weeks we have almost been inseparable.

He didnt contact me at all yesterday so I text him and he eventually sent me a text back saying he had found out that morning his mother has died. He said he just wanted to be left alone.

I text him this morning saying that I knew it would be so hard for him and that even if he didnt want to talk, I could be there for him & hold him, if he wanted that. I told him that I really wanted to be there to help him through this. Two hours later he text back saying he just wants to be alone at the moment.

For the past 2 days I have been in constant tears. I do not know what to do. I know I shouldnt contact him and I should let him "grieve" but I dont know much about grieving. I do know that he hasnt communicated with his mother for a few years since his marriage broke down. His mum and step-dad thought he was crazy for leaving his wife and losing all his money to her.

So I know there are obviously unresolved issues that he is dealing with now and maybe even guilt.

What do I do? Do I just let him contact me when he is ready, if he is ready? Or do I leave it for a few days and then ring him? How long before he would be able to see or talk to me again.

I am so lost. I really love this man and want to be there for him but I do not want to push him away either.

Please help.





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