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Grief & Loss Message Board


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Missing My Mother
May 15, 2006
I miss my mom so much,it has been almost 3 months now and I miss her more than ever.The realization that I no longer have her here with me is so hard to bear.She took care of me from day one, and in the end I took care of her.I was there until she took her last breath,that was the hardest thing I ever had to do was watch her leave me.I just want her back.Yeah,I know she is in a better place and no longer suffering with cancer,but why would such a wonderful,unselfish,kind,and gentle person as my mother have to be stricken with this uncurable disease called cancer?I just dont understand.She didnt want to die.When the doctor told us she only had a couple of weeks left after fighting this for 15 months with everything she had it still didnt seem real.My mom told me on the way home that day that she didnt want to die,we cried and cried,and talked about everything.She just wanted me to be ok,so the next few weeks I had to be-for her.Then after she passed I had to be strong for my children who were very close to her.
Well I cant be strong anymore, the tears wont stop.It hurts so bad to know I will never hear her sweet voice again.I know I have wonderful memories of her,but a memory cant take the place of our morning hugs and our wonderful days together.There is nothing like a hug from your mother and I know I will never have that again.Thanks for letting me get this out.
Serinity
I understand how u feel I lost my mother on march the 4th of this year there is not a day that goes by that I dont miss my mom , she died leaving behind her family , she left knowing my dad and jesus would take care of her its a very difficult thing to go thru i too was with her until she took her last breath she had severe pain up until about 5 min before she died i watched her deteriorate in front of me . she was so frail please beleive me when i say it will get better we must give it time . was your mom under that care of hospice if so there are counselors there that will help you deal with this they are there before they die and they are there after they die this is a free service provided by hospice . I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Today makes 4 months since my mom passed away.I was reading my post at 3 months and nothing has changed . I would do anything to have her back with me , even though I know shes in a better place.I know its selfish but I just miss her so much.I miss her morning smiles and our morning coffee at 6:00a.m.,just the little things that we did I miss sooooo much.
Today is also Fathers Day and it has been 14 years since my dad passed .
Ya know, life just seems so unfair, but I will always remember what mom said "A COUNTRY GIRL WILL SURVIVE" and somehow , someway I will. :)
hi its just me susan kay i lost my mom sept. 28 just about a month ago. and i am the baby of the family my dad keeps telling me about where our property lines are and how much the rent is on our mobile homes and the lot rent and what to do with the renters we have 20 achers. and he talks about how he is going to divided the property with my brother and sister she is the oldest and randy is is in the middle. we have had to take papers to the laywers office for the succcessin and every thing with the legal stuff from moms death how am i suppose to remember all about property lines and rent and renters and lots and every thing. why did mom have to go all she was infor was a bllod trans. and a clot formed and went to her lungs. i did not expwcte this so soon she was 71 and i am47 i work full time but how am i to remember everything? thanks for listening i just miss my mom.susan kay
thank you for that im crying again i have got to stop this i guess because it was a very stressful day at work to day i just hurt so much. thats what i have done the phone will ring and i think mom. i guess also because i am so close [ like next door] it seems worse i dont know what my brother is thinking you know men wont talk to the baby sister. and barbara is in caili fornia. so i just want the hurt to stop thats all. i have to drive by the cemetary every morning and every after noon i have been stopping by every sunday when i get off work and see her well you know what i mean. i want to plant an amerilla plant oncw daddy gets the tomstone in do you think they will let me at hillcrest? she loved amerills plants.i go by and go home get a drink of tea and a snack and church starts at 6;00 i am off at 4;00 so i have enough time .i guess i have to wait until daddy gets that in before i can do that. it is supposed to take 6 to 8 weeks and it has been a month tommorrow. so i will just keep on and try to do what mom would want and that is to go to work every day i want to do better in my faith and in my day to day life you know. as i try to manage my cashiers that i am over you know just try to make her proud of me. i mean i just go to work and come home any way and feed my animals you know ust try to make her proud. i have been with walmart 17 years on the 24th of nov. and my birthday is the 15th so i just want to do better. you know? i am in a manger position so i am trying hard to be i dont know the best i can be so when she looks down she will know. does that sound funny? am i explaining my feelings o.k. i just miss her i cant beleive how much i miss her. i hurt i have a heart valve problem so i feel like an elephant is sitting on me but i want her to be prod when she looks down. thanks for listening to my ramblings. susan kay
I do believe you're mom is still around you and knows what is going on. I've had experiences with my mom and brother after they passed on ,but that's for another thread if anyone is interested. But I still talk to my mom all the time in my head. She will always be with you in your heart. Someday you will see her again ,but in the meantime she is with you in spirit. She would want you to carry on .It's okay to cry though. Holding in your grief only makes the process longer and harder. With my brothers death I tried to push away my feelings of grief because it was just so painfull.As a result it took me years before i could even let myself remember the good times.I couldn't even look at his picture because it was just too painfull. So with my mom i let myself feel all the pain and hurt and I cried and cried. I was able to work through it much faster. I will always miss her and need her ,but after 3 years I am able to laugh about her quirks , look at her pictures ,use her cookbooks with all her hand written notes , talk to my girls about past memories etc.without feeling like my heart is going to break into a million peices. Hang in there.....
and be kind to yourself...it's only been a month.....blessings, Kat
Dear Serinity

I totally understand your pain as well as the rest of you my heart goes out to you all. I lost my Mom in Jan. to cancer and as each day draws closer to christmas I just seem to sink deeper and deeper into a pit of despair as I sit at my computer at work here I'm holding back the tears wondering how I'm going to get through another day I already had to run to the washroom once reading some of the replies especially after reading the verses crymaggie sent in. I'm still haunted by that look of death on her face as she took her last breath I spent the last four days in the hospital with her day and night, she was in a coma for those, so I never got to say everything I wanted or needed to say. I miss her so much, she was only 66 and I have no kids or wife. I have two brothers one out in calgary and the other one here in Toronto who's an alcoholic and just drinks himself into oblivion everyday so there's been no support there. I have to try and keep encouraging him that there's a better life. All I can offer right now is it's one day at a time. Sorry if I went on a bit to long.

God Bless you all.

Bill J





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