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Grief & Loss Message Board

Grief & Loss Board Index

Lost my Dad
Aug 6, 2006
My father passed away on 4/5/06. Besides my husband and daughter, he was the only family member I had. I lost my mother when I was 8, I remember it hurt, but I was so young. Losing my dad was the first real loss I've had since my mother. I'm having a terrible time coping with the fact that my dad is gone. He lived in Kansas, I live in California. We saw each other as much as we could and kept in contact weekly by phone and with cards and letters. Now some 4 months later I still grieve. I can't go a day without crying. I'm suffering from terrible anxiety as I have my own set of health concerns, but my mind is getting the better of me. My Dr. tried putting me on Prozac for the depression, but had terrible side effects and quit after about a week. She then tried giving me Buspar for anxiety, again horrible side effects. I do take an occasional xanax, but my Dr. has already told me she won't refill my prescription and I only have 6 left. Says she doesn't want me to become dependent on them, but they help, so what's the big deal? I made a phone call this weekend and left a message for a grief counselor, so hopefully she's taking new patients and I can get into some counseling. I'm just feeling very lost, everyday is a struggle. I want to be normal again. My poor husband is so understanding, but I've been neglecting him, and not acting much like a wife. My daughter talks to me, but I don't hear her, she has to say "mom" about 4 times before I realize she's talking to me. I've gotten to where I must tune everything out. I feel like a robot, get up, go to work, sort of eat, and go to bed. I want my life back. I guess I just needed to tell my story to someone, everyone says time will heal, but I'm just not so sure. How do you all cope with the loss of a loved one? I'm lost, and I just want to be found again. Thanks for listening.

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